Ron Kantowski explains why arena football was a bad idea and a failure in Las Vegas

Saturday, Oct. 20, 2007 | 7:16 a.m.

The Thomas & Mack Center called a news conference today to announce the troubled New Jersey franchise of the Arena Football League would be moving to Las Vegas for the 2003 season. That came as a surprise to the team's prior landlord.

George Zoffinger, executive director of the New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority, said the Gladiators have yet to notify him they are moving.

Zoffinger said the Gladiators owe the Sports Authority $114,000.

"I haven't heard a thing," Zoffinger said. "I've been trying to reach them for two days. Not a phone call, nothing.

"This is not a professional operation."

Those were the first words I wrote about the Las Vegas Gladiators.

These will be the last words I write about the Las Vegas Gladiators, for the Las Vegas Gladiators are about to become the Cleveland Rocks or the Reggie Clevelands or the Cleveland Kosars.

Doesn't matter what you call them, so long as you call them gone.

That is, unless you were one of their landlords. Then you call them delinquent.

As of this writing, the Orleans Arena, one of two Las Vegas sports emporiums that threw down an area rug of synthetic fiber and invited the Gladiators in, haven't heard a thing from Jim Ferraro, the team's owner, since it became Glads All Over. Not a phone call, nothing.

The Gladiators, whose lease has a year to run, owe the Orleans a bunch of money. It'll be up to the Orleans' lawyers to determine how much they'll seek.

Daren Libonati, director of the Thomas & Mack Center, hasn't heard from Ferraro , either. But he has heard from the Arena Football League home office in Wahoo, Neb., or wherever the shoebox it operates from is. The AFL home office has assured Libonati that if he doesn't receive a $56,000 check with Ferraro's autograph on it, Cleveland doesn't get a franchise.

Mind you, a franchise is not going to amount to a pimple on Cleveland's sports backside - in case you haven't been watching October baseball, be assured they play real sports on the shores of Lake Erie. But there are probably four guys in Shaker Heights who can't afford Cavalier tickets who should be hoping the check is not in the mail to Libonati's office.

Repeat after George Zoffinger: This is not a professional franchise ... this is not a professional franchise ... this is not a professional franchise ...

The Indians are a professional franchise. The Browns are a professional franchise. The Cavaliers are a professional franchise. The Barons were a professional franchise, at least until they merged with the Minnesota North Stars after the 1978 National Hockey League season.

This is football in a can. There is a difference. This is eight nights that guys who own NBA arenas don't have to worry about booking when Springsteen and U2 are in the recording studio.

When it comes to arena football, my net has never gone all the way to the top. It sort of reminds me of sock drawer basketball, a game me and my pal Wally invented when it was too cold to play outside. Only we never dreamed of charging admission . Or talking over-the-hill rock stars into investing in a franchise.

Another reason my net doesn't go all the way to the top is we already had one arena team here, and it didn't take. Remember the Sting, which used to play at the MGM Grand Garden Arena and the Thomas & Mack Center and coach Babe Parilli's back yard before it moved to Anaheim, Calif., and became a pimple on Orange County's sports backside?

Ferraro apparently didn't. When skeptics asked what made him think the Gladiators would succeed where the Sting and so many other minor league sports diversions had failed so miserably, he said not to worry, that unlike all those other teams pushing up daisies in our sports graveyard, he had done his homework on Las Vegas.

I guess the dog ate it. Again. I have this recurring nightmare of former Gladiators coach Frank Haege, stripped down to his sleeveless T-shirt (remember when Haege got thrown out of the game for doing a striptease on the field?), patting the fat tummy of an old hound while a Gladiator Goddess, sans the heavy-duty makeup, fetches him a can of Milwaukee's Best from the fridge.

I am sure there was a Sunday afternoon or two, at least when the circus wasn't in town, when the Gladiators' net did go all the way to the top and the Jock Jams were blaring at "11" over the speakers and Clint Dolezel was able to successfully throw the ball to one of six men in motion and a Gladiators Goddess managed to turn something resembling a cartwheel without falling out of her halter top - and I am just as sure that true blue Gladiators fans are going to miss those nights.

But those four guys will just have to find someplace else to drink .

Jimmy, we hardly knew ya'

A look back at franchise owner Jim Ferraro and the Las Vegas Gladiators' five-year layover in Las Vegas, as seen through the eyes of Sun sports columnist Ron Kantowski:

n Because of a previous concert booking, the Las Vegas Gladiators were forced to move their arena football home opener from Sunday afternoon Feb. 16 to Monday evening Feb. 17. So it'll be Phish on Sunday and Phumble on Monday.

n I'm sure there are some nuances I don't understand, but in arena football, speed seems irrelevant. So does strategy. And there's simply not enough room for the players to maneuver. I kept waiting for Gladiators quarterback Jay McDonagh to tell the Los Angeles Avengers (who were playing without Diana Rigg) to "spread out," like Moe used to tell Larry and Curly. Call me the Fourth Stooge, but I still think football indoors is best played by pre-pubescent boys when their parents aren't at home.

n For the second time in eight years, I threw my hat into the arena Sunday. It must have fallen over the eyes of the head linesman, who missed all those obvious offsides infractions. Other than arena football being marginally more accepted by the sporting public and having some games shown on NBC, not a whole lot has changed since the Las Vegas Sting folded after two seasons in the mid-1990s, ultimately to be replaced by the Las Vegas Gladiators.

n The Gladiators - you know, our arena football team - called a news conference Tuesday to announce the signing of quarterback Clint Dolezel. Dolezel, for the 99 percent who haven't heard of him, is an outstanding arena quarterback, which is kind of like being good in field hockey.

2004

n Spotted: Las Vegas Gladiators head coach Frank Haege, wearing a New Jersey Gladiators practice jersey, having a gordita (or maybe it was a chalupa) at the Taco Bell on Boulder Highway. I guess if I were the head coach of a team struggling to make the playoffs in a made-for-TV football league, I'd make a run for the border, too.

n During a home game against Arizona in March, Gladiators coach Frank Haege was feeling so sorry for the Arena Football League officials that he offered them the shirt off his back. Only he ripped it off and slammed it to the Thomas & Mack throw rug in frustration after what he thought was a bad no-call. It was Shirts vs. Skins, and the Skins lost. "I didn't like it," said team owner Jim Ferraro, who cited Haege's lack of professionalism among the reasons for firing him in July following an 8-8 season. "I'm here to win, I'm not here to screw around."

2005

n Unlike most Las Vegas sports crowds, the Gladiators' fans didn't leave early. But I wasn't sure if that was because they wanted to mingle with the players or because they couldn't hear the final horn because the music was too loud.

n While I've never been a big fan of Football in a Can, Sunday's Gladiators game had me on the edge of my seat. I guess it should be noted that given the Thomas & Mack's awful sight lines for hockey and now arena football, that's the only way you can watch the game from press row - leaning forward, on the edge of your seat.

2006

n One of the most intriguing matchups for Sunday's Gladiators game against the Philadelphia Soul at the Thomas & Mack Center will take place in the hospitality suites. The Soul is owned by rock star Jon Bon Jovi, who insists on keeping a low profile. The Gladiators are owned by Jim Ferraro, who insists on determining who plays quarterback.

n To anybody who thinks hiring 72-year-old Sam Jankovich to play golf - er, oversee the day-to-day operations of our arena football team in a league that is way more P. Diddy than B. Crosby - was the right move, please return what Jay has in the box.

n There's no truth to the rumor that the Gladiators will adopt the single wing and wear leather helmets now that 72-year-old Sam Jankovich has been named general manager.

n There's an ad on the Gladiators' Web site offering fans who reach $5,000 in ticket referrals the opportunity to fly to a 2007 away game of their choice and "dine with the Gladiators' front office and general manager Dan Dolby the night before the big game." The main problem I see with that is I doubt the Gladiators are going to take their fired GM along on the trip. Besides, it's arena football. There are no big games.

2007

n This, apparently, is why my arena football net doesn't go all the way to the top. In announcing an imminent move from the spacious Thomas & Mack Center to the cozy Orleans Arena, Gladiators owner Jim Ferraro said if the indoor football team was drawing 15,000 spectators to the Thomas & Mack, that's where it would want to stay. The move to the Orleans, he added , "will make tickets harder to come by." Huh? A team that is struggling to sell tickets wants to make them harder to come by? Help me out here, Jon Bon Jovi.

n Shaun King, the former NFL quarterback brought in by the Gladiators to fill the Orleans Arena with indoor football fans, instead filled it with incomplete passes and interceptions and was handed a pink slip. I'm not saying the Gladiators gave up on King too soon, but the last guy to be cut that fast was Jerry Quarry.

n I went to a playoff hockey game Wednesday night and a Gladiators game broke out. At least, that's what it looked like, judging from the number of empty seats at the Orleans Arena.

n In an effort to fine-tune their triple-option offense - fumble, fall and flee - our arena football team scrimmaged the Southern Nevada Pop Warner Mini Giants this week. The teams battled to a scoreless tie through three quarters, after which the Mini Giants quit to do their homework. Three plays later, the Gladiators scored.

n Here's a shocker: Our football-team-in-a-can franchise lost another game at the Orleans on Sunday, bowing 57-39 to the Los Angeles Something or Others. The locals were actually hanging in there until Lucy pulled the football away to prevent Gladiators kicker Chuck "Good Grief" Brown from booting another onside kick into the stands.

n I'm envious because I never got to see Secretariat run in person. It must have been like listening to Pavarotti sing, Nicholson act or the Gladiators fumble.

n Danton Barto, the coach of the Las Vegas Gladiators - you know, our indoor football franchise that moved to a smaller arena this year in an effort to increase attendance - was fired after leading the team to a grand total of one victory and a not-so-grand total of 10 defeats. Which only proves once again that you can't make chicken salad out of chicken ... well, feathers.

n Four coaches in five years. That's what the Gladiators will be looking at in 2008 if they A) make good on a threat and return to Las Vegas and B) can talk Danny White or Jon Bon Jovi into becoming their next coach. As the latter might put it, "Shot through the heart and who's to blame?" I'd start with the guy hiring the coaches.

n Two years after the Las Vegas Gladiators let him go rather than pay him a few more peanuts to continue being their quarterback, Clint Dolezel has led the Dallas Thing-a-ma-bobs to a 12-1 record and an Arena Football League playoff berth. In terms of bad business moves, I'd rank letting Dolezel become a free agent right alongside Sony's decision to mass produce the Betamax.

n Eccentric Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban wants to put a team in a new pro football league consisting of middle-round draft picks in Las Vegas by 2008. As the XFL proved during its four-week existence, outdoor minor league football might work here. As the Las Vegas Gladiators have proved during their five-year existence, indoor football most assuredly doesn't.

n In what has to be the biggest display of guts since Butch and Sundance took on the entire Bolivian army with a couple of six-shooters, the 2-12 Las Vegas Gladiators have hired a fan bus for this week's game at Los Angeles. And they're actually charging fans, instead of paying them, to ride.

n If falling to 2-13 wasn't insulting enough, our football-in-a-can team will be forced to play its final home game on Monday afternoon because the circus is in town Sunday. Honest. The circus.

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