Brian Greenspun pays a belated tribute to those wonderful women who have given us all so much

Sunday, May 27, 2007 | 7:11 a.m.

If you are Dunn, shame on you, write your dear old mother in Ireland.

And so goes the punch line of a joke that has been in my family for as long as I can remember. The buildup is too long to repeat, but the wind up says it all. And I haven't been able to get it out of my head since Mother's Day two weeks ago.

I wanted to write today about the state of our state - which, since this was written three days ago could have changed five times and not once for the better - because we are in a difficult fix and there appears to be not one bit of responsible leadership to help us find our way. Not from the Governor's Mansion to be sure and, surprisingly, not from the Legislature either. It seems people are content to allow us to founder as a state in the void created by ideologies and timidity that have no place at the helm of one of the fastest-growing and most progressive states in the union. But that will have to wait for another day, as will imaginative and inspired leadership, because I have something really important to write about.

Mothers.

For some reason, I am certain it was a good one, I was unable to carry out my own responsibility of writing a Sunday column two weeks ago. No problem. When you are the editor and one of the owners it is easy to do what we don't allow our reporters and columnists to do, and that is miss a day when your readers are expecting something to read. I didn't say it was right, just easy.

That was a mistake because had I been thinking at the time I would have realized that I wasn't just missing a Sunday column. I was missing Mother's Day, which for as long as I can remember has been an opportunity to tell my mother, my mother-in-law and the mother of my child how much I love them and appreciate what they do each and every day. And, by extension, it is an opportunity to tell all the mothers on this planet that they are appreciated, loved and respected for what they do to try to better the human condition.

I did not do that two weeks ago and for that, I apologize. But, because this newspaper publishes every day, I have another chance. And, for myriad reasons, I will not pass it up again.

Perhaps it is appropriate that I write about mothers on a day that has no tradition attached to it with regard to honoring the women in our lives, especially the women who gave us life, gave us direction and gave us the understanding necessary to go out in the world and try to make it a better place. After all, anyone who is fortunate enough to have been raised by the kind of mother I have understands that it is not only a thankless job but that there are not enough days in the year to express the kind of gratitude that would compensate for the sacrifices mothers make daily .

And, most importantly, anyone who can no longer express those worldly thanks to their mothers knows all too well the fleeting nature of life and just how precious the ability to hold your mom, kiss your mom and express your love really is. For my sisters, brother and me, life has been good because at our advancing ages we understand that having our mom with us is a blessing not many people are privileged to receive. Many of our friends have lost mothers and fathers - that's the way this circle of life thing works, you know - in recent years. And it does not go unnoticed that with each passing Mother's Day so many of our contemporaries must content themselves with memories .

If you talk like this to young people it is hard for them, perhaps impossible except for the unlucky few, to understand what those of us at the higher end of the generational ladder are trying to say when we talk about our parents and the good fortune we have to be able to tell them how we feel. One day, sometimes all of a sudden, that ability is gone.

My intention is not to focus on the gloomy side of life but, rather, that part of everyone's existence that is informed, guided, nurtured and loved by the women who gave us life. It is a time for rejoicing and a time for giving thanks. That's why someone many years ago made it a priority in this country to recognize moms everywhere on one special day. And the fact that I neglected to remember that day has caused some degree of guilt. Not to mention a large amount of angst caused by my friends who use my column to share their own feelings with their moms, and my mother-in-law, Rachel, who patiently awaits each Mother's Day to see her name in print, which is validation that her son-in-law really does love her.

What was most interesting to me, though, is that I did not hear any complaint from my mother. I have tried to figure out why others were vocal in their disappointment and my mother, the person who should be most aggrieved by my selfish slight, said nothing. The best I can come up with is that Barbara knows how her kids feel about her. We tell her every day and we show her with our actions, almost all of which are a reflection of the way she brought us up. As much as she likes the attention on Mother's Day, my mom is content and secure in the knowledge that she did us right and we are grateful to her every day of our lives.

I believe most mothers think the same way. Otherwise they wouldn't be moms.

So whether you do it once a year on the designated day or you find a way to tell your mom how much you love, respect, admire and depend on her, do something. Mothers have a way of knowing the truth , but they still like to hear the words. And do it when they least expect it.

Because you never know when you can't ever do it again.

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