Movies? What Movies?

Matthew Scott Hunter and Julie Seabaugh

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 | 3:10 a.m.

Tuesday

Tuesday boasted not one, not two, but three festival gatherings, the first being an industry happy hour in the Conde Nast Traveler Lounge of the Palms’ Key West Ballroom. Then, following the premiere of director Jeffrey Blitz’s Rocket Science, industry types made their way past the fish and rainforests of the Mirage to the Revolution Lounge.

It could have been that the crowd loved the film so much, or perhaps that the drinks were free, but the Have Love, Will Travel—a cocktail named for the “pairs” of couples at the center of that film’s story—was so popular that the bar ran out of Absolut Pear for 25 minutes. In the downtime, revelers were chatted up by the Revolution staff, who bear the distinction among other lounge personnel of wearing bell bottoms that come equipped with belt-level lighters always at the ready via retractable cords.

The night’s festivities culminated on the Strip, at the Imperial Palace’s Rockhouse Bar, where go-go dancers gyrated on chains that ran from the ceiling down to the bar top, like stripper poles. With all the room’s seating roped off for VIP guests, it was standing room only for the performance by TV Sheriff, an off-the-wall and (dare we say?) cacophonous band, whose members included a guy dressed like an Old West prospector and someone wearing a pink gorilla suit. At least, we hope it was a suit. The songs, which covered such topics as macaroni and cheese and Gold Bond powder, were accompanied by rapids cuts of TV and commercial footage. The assault of images and sound made even the weakest offerings at the film festival look like masterpieces by comparison.

Wednesday

Other parties may have emphasized the booze, but Wednesday night’s official soiree, held at the top of Mandalay Bay in the elegantly morbid Foundation Room, was all about the cheese, crackers, veggies, schmancy snack mix and above all, the chocolate. Hershey’s hosted a special tasting of its Cacao Reserve line, featuring truffles and bite-size bars that couldn’t be wolfed down until demonstrators spoke on the dark variety’s health benefits and encouraged guests to deeply inhale the rich chocolatey aroma.

Later on, midnight bowling at the Rio’s Lucky Strike Lanes turned bloody when The Killers’ saxophone player and Freakin’ Frog director of marketing Tommy Marth caught his finger in a ball. Bent and dripping, the mangled digit caused Marth so much pain he keeled over and cracked his jaw before medical attention could arrive.

Thursday

A whopping three bars hosted Planet Hollywood’s Thursday night event. The Heart Bar, Extra Bar and Living Room each held sprawling buffets of shrimp cocktails, chocolate-covered strawberries and towering stacks of Vitaminwater. Most of the excitement revolved around Extra Bar, where Brian Lazarro won $5,000 for his Vegas.com commercial and was presented a check far too large for the common ATM to handle. CineVegas Chairman Dennis Hopper was on hand, as was director/pal David Lynch. The low-key celebs left shortly before the crowd began its mass transit to Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club for the after-party.

The biggest topless club in Las Vegas roped off a whole corner for the CineVegas crowd. Complimentary cocktails were funneled through one end of an ice sculpture, bearing the message “Welcome CineVegas,” ultimately splashing into cups waiting on the opposite end. The setup was impressive enough that partygoers could excuse the lag time between drinks. The DJ repeatedly extended greetings to CineVegas as well, between his urgings for us to visit the tip rail. But the bulk of indie filmmakers preferred to gawk from afar. Not that the ladies weren’t lovely. It’s just that there was free cake over by the far wall.

Saturday

Saturday afternoon’s awards luncheon, held at the Venetian’s Postrio, featured special fish and chicken entrees courtesy of Wolfgang Puck. Finally, after the presentation of the Vanguard Director Award to Mike Newell and the screening of Ben Kingsley’s closing night film You Kill Me, the CineVegas party parade ended with a bang with the Vegas magazine fourth anniversary celebration—the biggest, fanciest bash one could ever hope to attend with shoes full of sand.

Guests certainly didn’t mind stumbling through the sand dunes surrounding Mandalay Bay’s wave pool to reach the exotic sideshow. Attractions included stuntmen on dirt bikes, performing loop-de-loops in a tiny iron sphere, as well as a woman dubbed “The Scorpion Queen,” who invited guests to pour scorpions on her almost entirely bare body.

Surrounding the sushi table, there was also an assortment of psychics, caricaturists and temporary tattoo artists on hand to entertain partygoers. Carrot Top, Penn Jillette and Criss Angel (sans Cameron Diaz) were there, and rumor has it that Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee made a quick appearance. Despite the immense size of the outdoor venue, the event was packed to capacity.

And so ends the CineVegas 2007 party circuit. With just under a year until the next CineVegas, we should have just enough time to sleep this one off.