Unleash your inner poet

Friday, June 8, 2007 | 7:18 a.m.

Who: John Mayer

Where: Mandalay Bay Beach

When: 8 p.m. Friday

Tickets: $65; 632-7580

Who: Morrissey

Where: The Pearl at the Palms

When: 7 p.m. Saturday

Tickets: $57; 942-7778

Who: Jewel

Where: Vegas Springs Preserve

When: 8 p.m. Saturday

Tickets: $45; 474-4000

Gentlepersons, start your poetry journals!

Las Vegas is going all soft and gooey this weekend as three singer-songwriters who personify cloying coffeehouse earnestness come to town. On Friday it starts with John Mayer, but then, before you can dry your tears or inject your insulin, bam! It's Morrissey and then, the Godzilla of sincerity, a poetess as precious as her name: Jewel.

We know. You're overwhelmed. You need a good cry. It just makes you feel life so much, you just want to create, to tell the world that you are an Artist with a Soul. But you stink. There's no way you could create a vignette in verse worthy of these titans. God, it's so depressing.

We're here to help! We've delved into their combined oeuvre to gather their lyrical pearls so you can string them together into a necklace of your very own. In other words, clip-and-save poetry.*

ILLUSTRATION BY CHRIS MORRIS

So cut 'em out, head on down to the Crushed Pansy for a mug of herbal tea, and mix-and-match until you compose the sensitive ode to intensity.

But remember: Do it from the heart.

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