CONVENTION CRASHING: PROMOTIONAL PRODUCTS ASSOCIATION INTERNATIONAL

Friday, Jan. 5, 2007 | 7:11 a.m.

They trudged out of the Mandalay Bay convention center on Thursday like Mongols returning from the sack of Tchotchke, thousands of them, their shoulders hunched against the weight of tote bags, pens, flashlights, blankets, key chains and bathrobes.

Rivulets of fresh pillagers poured through them, upstream, into the Promotional Products Association International convention, carrying empty bags and briefcases and suitcases and rolling plastic crates.

Nobody knows how to snag freebies like the people who hand them out for a living in this $18 billion-a-year industry.

It's not all push-button pens that say things like, "GrabCo: We Click With You!" and letter openers and be-logo'd chocolates and other convention handouts. The industry also includes gifts like flash-memory drives, iPods, Bose stereos, bicycles, chain saws and hot tubs.

Yes, hot tubs. These premium giveaways go to valued clients or high-performing employees. One of these premium-item suppliers is Epic International, which works with clients such as investment firm Merrill Lynch.

"You've got people earning at a level like that," salesman Anthony Davis says, "and you can afford to give them a hot tub."

But don't expect to find logos on those. "That would be tacky," Davis says.

(We just hope our bosses aren't considering motivating us with a chain saw.)

It's all in how you look at it

Dropping housing prices. Buyers staying away. Woe. Despair.

Well, maybe for Realtors. It's great news for custom picnic basket manufacturers, says Carl Barnett, salesman for Spectrum, manufacturers of the Picnic Plus line of logo-ready outdoor eating kits.

See, with life getting harder for real estate agents, it's more important for them to compete for customers and build up their reputation. That's where the picnic baskets come in.

You buy a house, enter it for the first time and there, on the kitchen counter, is a picnic backpack complete with plates, glasses and utensils. It reads, "Joe Rocksell, Realtor." And then, of course, you'll recommend Joe to your friends when they sell their house.

"The funny thing is," Barnett says, "you remember the basket, not the house you spent $400,000 on."

Right. Well, the real estate agents believe it, so he says.

Car dealers are also fond of them, as well as the company's first product - a foldable, pocketed blanket called a "mega mat" that's waterproof on the bottom side.

"The idea came from going to my kid's soccer game and getting a wet butt," says Daniel Berkowitz, Spectrum president and inventor of the mega mat.

It now comes in three sizes, including a one-butt mega mat that clips to your belt.

Product No. 1: Perhaps not the best "Thanks" to customers of your ecclesiastical supply company

Custom calenders, themes include "Naughty Girls" and "Men International," $6.12 each in orders of 50, $3.67 each in orders of 5,000 or more. Also available are more traditional themes, e.g., cuddly animals in pairs, guys out fishing or faux Norman Rockwell paintings. Those cost less. From Publi Calen Art Ltd., www.pcacal.com.

Product No. 2: It's like having a blender right in the cow

The Moo Mixer, a battery-powered 12-oz. cup with a cow-print plastic base and joystick-like handle, "Perfect for mixing chocolate milk!" Available with your logo for $11.45 each in orders of 50, and $9.40 each in orders of 2,500 or more. Also available are self-twirling plastic ice cream cones (just stick your tongue out) and spaghetti forks. From Wildline, wildline.com.

Product No. 3: But don't trade that cow for...

Magic Beans. Well, laser-engraved, painted beans, at least. When planted, beans will sprout, briefly bearing the words you had burned into them. Choose from 132 ready-to-go words like "Achieve," "America," "Bless," "God," "Marketing," and "$$$." Contact Walters Seed Co. of Holland, Mich., at (616) 355-SEED.

Overheard

Salesman: "You like kites?"

Woman: "I like kites. (Pause.) I've never flown a kite."

Salesman: "Oh, yeah? (Pause.) What kind of customer do you have?"

- Outside of a custom-print kite booth