CONVENTION CRASHING: THE WORLD SHOE ASSOCIATION

Friday, Aug. 3, 2007 | 7:28 a.m.

Espadrilles. They're the only type of women's shoe I can remember - and only because of an informal, at-home lecture series titled "Espadrilles: Theory and Practice" - and all I know about them is that whatever they are, they are called espadrilles.

All I know about shoes is that yes, those are a cute pair and they're really flattering on you.

What I don't know about shoes can, apparently, fill pretty much all of the Las Vegas Convention Center.

At the World Shoe Association expo there on Wednesday, there were many, many thousands of shoes. Some of them had high heels, others did not. Some had the toes cut out, others were whole. They came in different colors, patterns and materials. A lot of them didn't look very practical and had strange things stuck to them, like unnecessary straps, delicate chains, ruffs (roughage?) or sparkly things. Shiny was also popular.

And, hey, enough of that.

So it was off to the Teva booth. Tevas, as you may know, are wonderfully comfortable two-strap rubber sandals originally designed for river rafting, although they are appropriate attire for home and office , if only home and office had a poorer sense of smell. Because after a couple of years of daily use, Tevas acquire a certain distinctive presence that announces their wearer several yards in advance and causes house pets to faint.

It was time for serious journalism and tough questions about things that matter.

Can nothing be done about Teva stink?

Absolutely. In fact, it's already been done, said Patrick Anderson, product line manager for Teva. For the past four or five years, Tevas have had antimicrobial zinc blended into the rubber, and it has "helped with the smell immensely."

I happen to own a 2005 pair of Tevas with the anti-stink zinc. I, and others, can still get a heck of a whiff off of those.

Well, Anderson said, a Teva with a sweaty bare foot rubbing against it for days on end is a great bacteria breeding ground. It's like a continual blackout on New Year's Eve for bacteria. Soon, there is a lot more bacteria. But if you leave your Teva s alone (outside, some place dry and away from children and animals) for a couple of days, the zinc should kill off the odoriferous little scamps.

But there's only so much a sandal can do.

Anderson tried to break it to me gently.

"Some people have more foot stink than others," he said.

Product No. 1: The panic shoe

U ntil now, you probably have not thought of shoes as emergency beacons. Now meet the Compass, a line of sneakers and hiking boots coming this fall from Isaac Daniel.

Say you are abducted, or say you break your leg in the wilderness, far from help. At just the push of a button, this GPS-containing shoe will (if you remembered to keep the battery charged) shoot a signal up to a satellite and then down to a support center, which will call the police, search and rescue and your family. Also, there's a second button to cancel those calls in case you push the first button while tying your laces or whatever.

Or if you're really worried about your kid, spouse, Alzheimer's-stricken relation or whoever else you feel the need to affix with a tracking device - so worried that you'll file a police report - the company will remotely activate the GPS and locate him. And if you've done something to annoy the authorities, they can get a warrant and use the shoe to find you. If you're considering a life on the run, this is probably not the shoe for you.

The hiking boots will make it to stores first this fall, when they appear in Bass Pro shops, spokeswoman Andrea Thompson said. The tennis shoes should be available elsewhere by December.

Later on, Isaac Daniel plans to introduce a version of the shoe with extra buttons for text messaging your friends with your location.

Those shoes will cost $300 and have a $9.99 monthly fee for the emergency and messaging system.

The emergency-only shoes and boots will cost $325 to $350, with a $19.99 monthly fee.

Why does the panic-only footwear cost more?

"Because it's providing peace of mind and security," Thompson said.

Product No. 2: 'The coolest shoe in the world'

It's the Glagla shoe, a 5.5-ounce, sneaker-type shoe with vents on the sides, vents on the top and, yes, vents on the bottom. The entire shoe, except for the insole, is made of one piece of foam (stink-resistant, thank goodness) and can survive a trip through the washing machine. Air dries quickly. Most have Velcro straps, but some models have laces. Comes in a variety of colors.

Sells online at www.glaglausa.com for $59.95.

"We think we've got the hottest thing going," said Mark Allen, president of Baliston USA. "We think this is the one."