CONVENTION CRASHING: THE MOTOR TREND AUTO SHOW

Sunday, Nov. 26, 2006 | 7:43 a.m.

"It looks like an airplane," said one slack-jawed audience member at the 2007-Model Motor Trend International Auto Show at the Las Vegas Convention Center.

We couldn't figure that one out as we stared at Ford Motor's concept truck, the F-250 Super Chief. Big doesn't cover it. Neither does giant. The word for it is honkin'. It looks like a truck that swallowed a school bus and could use some Tums. It squats there, silver and dyspeptic, squinting at you with beady little chop-top windows.

It was our photographer who nailed the airplane connection.

"Maybe the Spruce Goose," he said.

In so many ways.

It's even got a lot of wood in it, and not just the usual concept car mock-up lumber. It has walnut. It has walnut floors, walnut trim, even a walnut-lined truck bed. Inside, the back seats are reclining leather club chairs. With pop-up ottomans. And a slide-out bar. Under a latticed glass roof.

We didn't get inside it, but we imagine it must have horrible sight lines, what with the tiny windows and the top of the tailgate being about 5-foot-6. Anything the size of a Honda sedan behind it would have to be invisible from the cab.

Ford claims it's powered by a V-10 that can burn gasoline, hydrogen or ethanol, thereby making an 8,000-pound pickup truck with the aerodynamics of a parachute-equipped refrigerator "environmentally responsible." Right, and so handy for all those cheap hydrogen fill-ups at your corner station.

Let's point out that Ford lost $5.8 billion last quarter - not last year, last quarter. It expects to loose another $5 billion this quarter. That's almost $11 billion down the drain in six months. It's lost a lot of that money because the giant gas hogs it's been making for the last 10 years are falling out of favor as fuel prices rise.

Yet, here's Ford, with a show-stopping whopper of a truck so excessive it makes a Hummer look like a Honda Civic. What the heck?

"It's a bold design," sputtered Ford spokesman David Mifsud. He pursed his lips and spat again: "It's a bold design." He looked away into space, gave his shoulders a little shrug, and concluded, "It's a bold design."

"Cars like that aren't to be built," he said and gave his temple a tap. "Cars like that are to let consumers know we're thinking."

But hey, it was certainly a showstopper for the crowd of mostly unsupervised men, who showered it with superlatives. "That is a classic," one said. "Pretty sick," another said. ("God's own pickup," the Dallas Morning News crows.)

But the best one came from a guy who referenced an eight-year-old episode of "The Simpsons," one about a truck that's "12 yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride!"

"What is that," he said, "a Canyonero?"

To Be Fair...

The tongue-tied Mifsud wanted to point out that the Super Chief wasn't Ford's only vision for the future. He pointed to last year's Mustang, with its retro styling and high sales. He also pointed to the Edge (if they'd called it Bono, would he have sued?).

The new crossover SUV has had production problems and is about a month behind schedule for getting into showrooms. But Mifsud said the Edge is remarkable because the 260-horespower station wagon - oops, "crossover utility vehicle" - gets highway mileage in the mid-20s.

A Toyota RAV4 has about 100 fewer horses under the hood and gets 30 mpg highway.

You too, GM

A GM spokeswoman on top of one of those Lazy Susans for cars bragged about the fuel efficiency of the Chevrolet Silverado, which gets a whopping 22 miles per gallon.

On the highway.

Overheard

"What is up with the flat seats? Everybody has flat seats."

- Prospective buyer trying out the Chevrolet Aveo, the "lowest-priced car in America."