Doggone it, lawmakers are punny

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 | 7:21 a.m.

Who knew members of Congress are sometimes called on to vote like dogs?

It started innocently enough at the House Judiciary Committee last week during the debate over a bill by Rep. Bob Goodlatte, R-Va., that would ban Internet gambling.

Rep. Robert I. Wexler, D-Fla., was making an impassioned speech for his amendment, which he claimed would level the playing field by allowing online dog racing - along with online horse racing - to be exempt from the ban.

As Wexler made his colorful case, he misspoke. "(Goodlatte) will say his bill doesn't allow horses to gamble over the Internet," he said, drawing chuckles from the committee. (Who knew the members actually listened to their colleagues' rousing speeches?)

Then the rhetorical games began.

When Wexler's time had expired, his colleague, Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., rose to yield to him precious minutes to continue the debate.

"I don't have a horse in this race. I don't have a dog in this race, either," Schiff said as he offered his time, drawing more chuckles from the committee.

Then there was no turning back.

"I can see this debate's going to the dogs," Schiff said on his next rise.

Goodlatte took his turn in the war of wits during his rebuttal to Wexler, saying: "In this legislation, the gentleman is barking up the wrong tree."

Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, D-Fla., later dropped a barrage of puns that included "let sleeping dogs lie," "that dog won't hunt" and "it's a dog-eat-dog world," all in her support of the Wexler amendment - and that turned the chuckles to groans.

But the top dog turned out to be committee Chairman F. James Sensenbrenner, R-Wis., who called on the members to vote in canine-speak.

"All those in favor of the amendment will please say 'woof.' All those opposed, say No The Woofs appear to be defeated and the Nos have it."

Actually, a roll-call vote was taken, and the amendment lost 15-21, with just a few actual woofs.

To Rep. Shelley Berkley, D-Nev., her ongoing campaign to stop Yucca Mountain is a life-and-death matter in more ways than one.

She couldn't convince her colleagues to vote against the Energy and Water appropriations bill that contained in next year's funding for Yucca Mountain. Nor could she get them to pull the plug on Yucca Mountain Joe, the cartoon character on the Energy Department's Web site for kids. But she could put her life on the line to block the project.

As her floor time ticked down in the debate, she made a pledge:

"I will lie in front of any train that attempts to send nuclear waste to Nevada," she said. "I will stand on the highways to stop any truck that brings nuclear waste in Nevada. Nuclear waste will come to Yucca Mountain, Nevada, over my dead body, I promise you that."

You can tell a bit about a member of Congress by his office on Capitol Hill.

Some have flags out front. Others have placards touting a cause near and dear to their hearts. Some keep their doors closed.

The offices for Nevada's members of the House are as different as the members themselves.

Rep. Jim Gibbons, R-Nev., veteran of two wars, pilot and geologist, has a neat, organized, law-and-order type place with patriotic pictures on the walls.

The office of Berkley is all glitter and glam - from the Fabulous Las Vegas table lamp that looks like a replica of the real thing, to the teddy bear dressed like a barely clad showgirl from a charity auction.

Rep. Jon Porter, R-Nev., has a Napoleon Dynamite bobble-head (wearing the trademark Vote for Pedro T-shirt) and a piano. He sets the mood for an interview on immigration with music.

Bob Marley, he asks? Actually, it turns out to be a mix of maybe Marley, definitely U2 and the rest was a bit difficult to hear over his own drumbeat of talking points on the House immigration bill.