Hal Rothman pauses to remember the true meaning of a holiday many take for granted

Sunday, May 28, 2006 | 7:40 a.m.

Like a lot of American holidays, Memorial Day used to have a great deal more meaning and considerably less partying associated with it.

In the small town where I grew up, Memorial Day was the time for old soldiers to put on their dress uniforms - if they could still fit in them and sometimes even when they could not - and parade through town on their way to the cemetery.

These World War II veterans had a special air about them; now firemen, clerks and plant workers, they were transformed into the young men who won the war that made the world safe. In solemn tones, they publicly remembered the losses we, as a nation and as individuals, had borne.

Even at the height of the Vietnam War, the least popular with the public until the current Iraq fiasco, the ceremonies had meaning and powerful resonance. They brought generations together, reminding those who supported the war and those who opposed it of a shared loss, of a common bond of loyalty to their country.

Sacrifice, a word that has disappeared from our national lexicon except in the most callous of ways, loomed large in those days. It was part of a shared culture, communicated in an array of ways in almost every dimension of public discourse. It helped define national identity, making people feel like they were part of something bigger than themselves - however flawed it appeared at any given moment.

Now before you write me off as some misty-eyed nostalgic for a past that never was, remember that I make my living explaining how the country has changed. The new America, the one of instant communication, infinite choice and gargantuan celebrity, has much to recommend it.

Today's nation is a fairer, more inclusive, more racially tolerant place than the nation of my youth. It is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a whole lot better than it used to be.

Opportunity appears everywhere - as long as you have education or skills. People have more choices than ever before, even if it often seems that they are all within a very narrow range. But despite all the problems we see daily, on the news and in the world around us, the new America lets more people exercise their abilities better than did the old.

But one thing we don't do as well as we used to is transmit the meaning of our society and the price it takes to keep all the prerogatives we take for granted. That's what Memorial Day used to be for. It was the day when we remembered the sacrifices individuals made for the collective whole.

Now Memorial Day is a three-day weekend, the semiofficial start of summer. People head to the lake or have a party in the back yard. School is almost out for the kids and everybody is rushing headlong into a summer of fun.

The parades of yesteryear have shrunk, attended by fewer and fewer people, and older and older people, every year. TV news cameras show up, as do politicians galore - especially in an election year. Teary-eyed widows and descendents make good copy and great campaign props, but there is something far less reverential about the entire process than I remember.

This year, I would like to see us do it a little differently. We are in the middle of an increasingly unpopular war, and American families of all kinds have sacrificed and suffered losses because of it. Many have lost loved ones, young men who will never grow older. Even more have had family members away from them for a very long time.

This year especially, we should take heed of Memorial Day, both as a day of remembrance and as one of reflections. Before you hoist another beer, stop and take a minute to reflect on what it requires to preserve the freedoms we all value in this country. With this small gesture, we would do honor to those who have done us the honor of protecting our nation. It may not be much, but it would be a start.