Saturday, May 20, 2006 | 7:31 a.m.
What: "La Femme"
When: 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Wednesdays through Mondays; dark Tuesdays
Where: MGM Grand's La Femme Theatre
Rating (out of five stars): *****
A change in ownership has not diminished the quality of "La Femme," which recently celebrated its fifth anniversary at the MGM Grand.
The topless show continues to be the class act of adult entertainment in Las Vegas.
"Buck Wild" at the Sahara and "Headlights and Tailpipes" at the Stardust are more for those with plebeian tastes.
"Fantasy" at the Luxor has lost some of its luster since reaching out to the jeans-and-T-shirt crowd.
"Erocktica" at the Rio - a fusion of rock 'n' roll music and topless dancers - has limited appeal.
"Splash," which despite some revisions still comes off as dated, has an even more limited appeal at the Riviera.
"Zumanity" at New York-New York is Cirque du Soleil on Viagra and steroids.
And while the extravaganzas "Folies Bergere" at the Tropicana and "Jubilee" at Bally's have a lot of style, their productions are painted in broad strokes.
"La Femme's" canvas is small, but artistically more satisfying.
The 13 dancers exude sensuality as they gracefully move through a series of vignettes set on a rather small, envelope-shaped stage.
The fact that they are topless in most of the numbers is secondary to their artistic renditions. Style is more important here than bosoms, which are overshadowed by lighting that sometimes creates an abstract form of art reflected off the bare skin of the performers.
This is in keeping with the philosophy of the late Alain Bernardin, who created the Crazy Horse Saloon in Paris in 1951.
Crazy Horse became a tourist destination for fans seeking an erotic experience and has remained popular for more than five decades.
Five years ago, MGM Grand brought a replica of Crazy Horse to Las Vegas, but because there is a Crazy Horse Too gentlemen's club in town, it was decided to give the Parisian production a different name. And so "La Femme" was born.
Earlier this year, Bernardin's children sold their rights to Crazy Horse (and therefore "La Femme") to a group of international investors led by Belgian businessmen Philippe Lhomme and Yannick Kalantarian.
Since the takeover, only minor changes have been made in the production, including bringing back the number "Chair Me Up," a provocative scene in which five dancers perform with chairs on a stage covered in patterns of light.
Two specialty acts bring a few minutes of relief from the sexual tension created by the dancers. One act is amazing, the other hilarious.
Magician Stephane Vanel seems to have an endless supply of playing cards up his sleeve - or somewhere.
He spends five minutes throwing cards all over the room and you wonder where they are coming from.
The comic relief is provided by the duo The Quiddlers, Paul Ebejer and Christian Fitzharris.
It's an act you have to see to appreciate - Ebejer portrays a miniature Michael Jackson (Micro Jackson) and Fitzharris portrays a monkey.
Enough said.
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