Monday, March 27, 2006 | 7:23 a.m.
In the days when the name Dick Cheney was just one more name in the reservation book, some hotel clerk must have given the future vice president a room that offered little more than a twin bed and a desk with no chair. And apparently he's never forgotten it.
Today when he travels, Cheney has the clout to order, in advance, a "Queen or King sized bed (in a connecting room to the parlor)." And just to be sure that his room is well appointed, he insists upon a "Desk with Chair."
Thesmokinggun.com Web site discovered these demands when it obtained a "Vice Presidential Downtime Requirements" memo from an employee of a hotel where Cheney was staying.
Also demanded on vice presidential travels is a "private bathroom." We can't imagine where he got the notion that there might not be one. It's not like he ever served in the Army, where a hundred or more troops share one latrine. Cheney, after all, had other priorities.
There's this demand as well for when he enters his room: "All lights turned on." Maybe he hopes to find a dim bulb or two, so he can feel as home as he does when visiting the White House. But he really needn't worry about that, given another request: "All Televisions tuned to FOX News."
Cheney also demands "Bottled Water, 4-6 cans," "Diet Caffeine Free Sprite, 4 cans" and "Coffee Pot in the Suite (BREW DECAF PRIOR TO ARRIVAL)."
All in all, this is a modest list for the vice president, considering that he could, simply by asking, have a loaded shotgun and penned-in quails at the ready (sans lawyer friend, we would hope).
archive
