When there’s nowhere to turn

Wednesday, March 8, 2006 | 7:23 a.m.

A partial list of services available for senior citizens in the Las Vegas area:

Doreen Markey was at her wit's end.

The 76-year-old Henderson woman had been taking care of her mother, Linda Blackwell, 95, for several years, when Blackwell began to exhibit erratic behavior.

Blackwell often became forgetful, and in her confused state began leveling accusations against Markey that included theft and abuse. Although Markey knew the claims were groundless, she was embarrassed and afraid.

"I didn't know what to do," Markey said. "I knew I wasn't doing these things, but they are not the sort of things you want to be accused of, especially from your own mother."

Markey contacted a lawyer and got Blackwell into an apartment of her own, but that did not work out.

Then Markey did something many proud senior citizens are loath to do - she asked for help.

Increasingly desperate for ideas, Markey sought out Julia Romanov, director of social services for the Henderson Senior Center, for advice. Markey, a regular at the center who also worked at its front desk, had seen Romanov help countless other seniors with a variety of problems.

"Let me make a few calls," Romanov told Markey.

Within a few days Romanov had Markey looking at nursing homes and other care facilities for her mother.

"We do a lot of advocacy work for seniors," Romanov said. "Some programs are so complicated, they get lost and their family members get lost. We try to help wherever we can."

To people in the midst of a crisis who do not know where to turn, that help is invaluable.

"Mom doesn't have that much money and that's why I work, to help her out," Markey said. "Julia led me in the right direction. I don't know what I would have done without her."

Markey is typical of many seniors in the valley. They are largely self-sufficient and prefer to be that way. Occasionally, however, a problem comes up that they cannot deal with alone.

While a wide range of services are available to them, many seniors do not know where to go for help.

Sometimes, the best resource is other seniors who know about existing programs and share the information.

Harold "Bob" Smoot is one such resource.

Smoot, 78, has made it a point to find out what services are available and shares the information with other seniors.

"You can call Sprint and get a lifeline to save money on your phone bill," Smoot said. "If you're on Section 8, you can get a rent rebate; there's all kinds of stuff out there."

Lifeline is a federal program that allows eligible participants to waive some of their monthly phone costs. The Clark County rent rebate program is a once-a-year credit for eligible seniors that averages about $275.

"I try to tell as many people as I can," Smoot said. "Some people just don't get what they need. They let food and utilities go to pay for prescriptions, and nobody should have to do that."

Even when seniors hear about services, pride sometimes keeps them from seeking assistance.

"I sure didn't want to have to ask anyone for help," Kathleen Jones said.

It was not a major crisis that forced Jones to seek assistance, but rather the everyday challenges associated with living on a fixed income.

Jones, 79, admits some of her financial problems are her own fault.

She had a tidy sum of money put away and had planned a fun-filled retirement when she came to Las Vegas 12 years ago, lured by the warm weather and the casinos.

Soon however, the combination of lots of free time and plenty of ways to spend her money took its toll and her nest egg was gone.

"I'm not blaming the casinos, but before you know it you're caught up in it," Jones said. "I didn't know what compulsive gambling was, but I sure do now."

Forced to start living only on her monthly Social Security check, Jones found there was not enough left over for essentials after she paid her bills.

She remembered reading about assistance programs available for seniors, but was mortified at the idea of having to ask for help.

Finally, she approached Romanov and learned that she was eligible for several programs.

"She filled out a rent rebate for me and applied to the electric company for a credit," Jones said. "It's hard, but you just have to get up the courage and ask people for help."

Markey said her call for help was life-changing for both her and her mother. It not only helped her mother find a nice place to live, but also salvaged their relationship.

"We get along great now," Markey said.

After looking at several care facilities, Markey and her mother decided Almost Home Group Care - run by Sharon Lessingwell out of her house in Henderson - was a good fit for Blackwell.

Lessingwell limits her care to two patients at any given time, which allows her to give more personal attention and eliminates many restrictions required in larger facilities.

"This is a home for individual care all the way through the end of life," Lessingwell said. "With Linda it was a little rocky at first because she didn't know what to expect, but she's settled in."

Blackwell, who has lived with Lessingwell since June, agreed.

"This is home," Blackwell said. "I'm one of the family.''

The "family" also includes Lessingwell's husband and 4-year-old son, who has come to look on Blackwell as a surrogate grandmother.

"As soon as he gets home from school every day he runs in to see her," Lessingwell said.

Blackwell shares a room with Almost Home's other resident, 78-year-old Barbara Thurman. She had her own room when she first moved in, but said she prefers companionship.

She chuckled however, when she pointed out that her "young" roommate cannot keep up with her.

"I knit a lot and take walks around the neighborhood when it's nice," Blackwell said. "I need to stay busy."

Lessingwell said doctors have told her that Blackwell has flourished since she came to the home. She stays on her diet and her medication schedule and has gained 12 much-needed pounds since arriving. She also is much more alert and aware.

Markey is relieved that her mother has both the full-time care she needs and a place where she feels at home.

The most difficult thing about achieving that harmony ultimately was also the easiest - making that first call.

"You don't know how much is out there until you look," Markey said.

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