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Ron Kantowski eavesdrops on a conversation between two tennis fans during the championship match at the Tennis Channel Open

Monday, March 6, 2006 | 7:30 a.m.

Overheard in Section 108 of center court during Sunday's Tennis Channel Open final pitting Lleyton Hewitt against James Blake at the Darling Tennis Center:

Game, first set Blake, 7-5.

Muffy: Where have you been, out looking for Andy Roddick? The first set is already over.

Tad: Sorry, I left my counterfeit handicap parking pass at home. I practically had to park in Indian Wells. I wound up in the dirt lot about a half-mile away and they put me next to a freakin' Chevy. If the paint job on my Lexus gets chipped, I'm gonna go Nastase on somebody.

Muffy: Lighten up. Tad. You're missing a good match. I know you don't follow tennis like I do, but even you've heard of Lleyton Hewitt and James Blake. And you've got to admit that the weather is ideal.

Tad: Who's that guy who runs the tournament? Steve Bellamy? He must be living right. I was out here Friday night and froze my McEnroe off.

GRUNT! 15-love.

Muffy: Well, it's the first week of March in the desert. Weather is always going to be an issue, unless they move the tournament indoors. Wait a minute - isn't that Steve Stallworth, the guy who runs the Orleans Arena, sitting down there in the expensive blue seats?

Tad: Yup, that's him. But Larry Brown, the city councilman, has already told Stallworth he would hit him over the head with one of those oversized rackets if he tried to cherry pick this event for Michael Gaughan. If this tournament would grow a little, it would be perfect for the Orleans. But tennis is meant to be played outdoors.

GRUNT! 30-15.

Muffy: Isn't it cool to see almost all of the seats filled? There must be almost 3,000 people here. I think Las Vegas missed tennis. Hard to believe that in a country club city like this, they haven't had a tournament here since the Alan King Classic in the early 1980s.

Tad: Well, Las Vegas apparently didn't miss tennis Monday though Friday. You could have shot off one of those tennis cannons and not hit anybody out here.

GRUNT! Deuce.

Muffy: Well, you said it yourself, the weather was bad. And besides the majors, name another tournament that draws well during the middle of the week.

Tad: Well, if guys like Roddick hadn't stiffed the fans, and some of those other seeds hadn't pulled out during the early rounds with sniffles and hangnails, maybe the crowds would have been bigger.

GRUNT! Game, second set, Hewitt, 6-2.

Muffy: There's nothing wrong with the caliber of players who did play. Heck, they only had about four months to put together a bracket along with everything else. I'm sure it will be better next year.

Tad: Well, they had better do their homework if this thing is gonna last as long as Bobby Riggs. Everybody knows Las Vegas is a marquee town, so they should do all they can to attract some marquee talent. Didn't McEnroe just win a doubles tournament in San Jose? Why not put him and wife Patty Smythe up in a suite up at the Mirage? She could even put Scandal back together and they could play a free concert at Tennispalooza, or whatever they call that festival on the midway.

Muffy: Goodbye to You, Tad. I suppose you'd pay to watch Anna Kournikova play, too?

Tad: Darn right, I would. As long as she wore a belly shirt. Kournikova and Pete Sampras versus Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi in Thursday night mixed doubles. It would be bigger than that trophy down there.

GRUNT! Advantage, Blake.

Muffy: Well, I'm sure that Bellamy fellow is already working on it. He seems like a sharp guy who knows how to run a tennis tournament. You have to admit that for a first-time event, things ran pretty smoothly. Oh, by the way, that's not a trophy. It's just the latest Mayor Goodman bobblehead doll.

Tad: I don't have to admit anything. I drive a Lexus. But I suppose you are right. I'm not really complaining.

GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT! Game, set, match, Blake, 7-5, 2-6, 6-3.

Muffy: That's because there really is nothing to complain about. Give the tournament committee a little credit. The tennis center is really cool, it's pretty easy to get to and considering it was built for kids' tennis, and not for the pros, how can you complain?

Tad: That's easy. My old man is a sports writer.

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