THE ELEVATOR

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 | 7:24 a.m.

Ron Kantowski

Who's headed toward the penthouse on the local sports scene - and who's getting the shaft.

GOING UP

The Tennis Channel Open

Hometown hero Andre Agassi is in the United Arab Emirates talking ground strokes and offshore drilling with Arab sheiks. Top-seed Andy Roddick is home resting with an IV of Red Bull attached to his arm. But after a hiatus of more than two decades, the big story is that pro tennis has returned to Las Vegas. By the end of the week, I fully expect Chevy Chase to show up in the hospitality area at the Stacy and Amanda Darling Memorial Tennis Center and charge lunch to The Underhills.

Jim Reitz

As I remind him every year about this time, the UNLV swimming coach is the best thing to hit the water since Esther Williams. Last weekend, his Rebel men swam to their second consecutive Mountain West Conference championship in Oklahoma City, after which Reitz was named MWC coach of the year for the 10th time.

Pro race car drivers

I've seen the late Dale Earnhardt drive 500 miles with a broken collarbone and more bumps and bruises than an overripe banana. Danny Sullivan once fit his broken arm with an electrical device that enabled him to hold the steering wheel so he could start his engine in the Indy 500. But, take note tennis fans, I have yet to see a driver withdraw from a race because he was tired.

GOING DOWN

Top seeds at the Tennis Channel Open

Bring out the irrigation crew, because seeded players failed to take root during the first day of the Tennis Channel Open. Gael Monfils, the No. 6 seed, lost to Jonas Bjorkman. Fernando Verdasco, the No. 8 seed, lost to Philipp Kohlschreiber. Tommy Haas, the No. 7 seed, withdrew with a shoulder injury. Is it too late to grant John McEnroe a wild card?

That Timberwolves fan Kevin Garnett threw the ball at

Actually, "threw" is way too strong a word. In trying to get a delay of the game call after being whistled for charging, Garnett lobbed the basketball, Nerf-style, into the expensive seats, where it struck a fan with the impact of a feather duster missing its plastic handle. The fan was carried out of the game on a stretcher. So just when was it, anyway, that America became the land of 98-pound weaklings?

Kenny Mayne's boogie shoes

Based on his performance on "Dancing With the Stars," the ESPN sportscaster and former UNLV quarterback didn't spend nearly enough time at Arthur Murray's. Now I know why the Mayne Man never broke into the starting lineup at UNLV - it's impossible to set up in the pocket when you've got two left feet.

Ron Kantowski can be reached at 259-4088 or at ron@lasvegassun.com.