Jon Ralston presents an unreal gubernatorial debate between candidates Jim Gibbons, Lorraine Hunt and Bob Beers

Sunday, July 23, 2006 | 7:43 a.m.

The House set its members free early last week, and Rep. Jim Gibbons shocked the Nevada political world by showing up for a Republican gubernatorial debate with Lt. Gov. Lorraine Hunt and state Sen. Bob Beers.

I have obtained a transcript:

Moderator: Welcome to the candidates. Brief opening statements, please. Congressman?

Gibbons: I'm a war hero. I passed a tax restraint initiative. Now I have an initiative that helps Dawn and me and is about education and not holding kids hostage. Sig said that's all I should say or I might get into trouble. But those are his words, not mine. I have my own words. I'm just not supposed to say them. Thank you.

Moderator: Sen. Beers?

Beers: I like TASC. Jim doesn't. His puppet master Sig Rogich doesn't. Lorraine's irrelevant. That's my campaign, and I'm proud of it. I'm fiscally and verbally conservative. Thanks.

Moderator: Madam lieutenant governor?

Hunt: I'm far from irrelevant, senator. I have been a heartbeat away from the governor, and I helped put this state on the path to prosperity. Just ask Kenny Guinn. I was in his office. More than once. When I wasn't in China getting more business for the state, which I have put on the path to prosperity. We're prosperous. Thank you.

Beers: If I may, I was never in the governor's office. I don't know, perhaps it's because he and Lorraine were raising all those taxes in there. But I'm happy to go there in January. And before I let Lorraine chime in, let me say one word: TASC.

Hunt: I was not there when he raised those taxes, senator. I was a heartbeat away putting the state on the way to prosperity every time but that time. And I worked to kill the gross receipts tax. It's just that no one paid attention to me.

Gibbons: Well, the reason they couldn't pass it was because of my tax restraint initiative. Without that, the tax would have been passed. And Beers never would have gotten all this attention.

Wait a minute. That's not helpful. Did I mention I was in the Persian Gulf War?

Beers: First let me say one word: TASC. OK, that's enough for now.

Gibbons: Since you mention it, I was for TASC before I was against it. Now I'm against it. But I like the idea.

Hunt: TASC cannot simply put this state back on the path to prosperity that I, with the governor's help, have put this state on. I'm a businesswoman, too, and I understand you have to run government like a business. So you can stay on that path. To prosperity, that is.

Gibbons: Then why didn't the chamber endorse you?

Hunt: Because they are with the good old boys.

Beers: I agree with Lorraine on that one. And another thought: TASC.

Gibbons: TASC, TASC, TASC. I have two initiatives and you only have one. What do you say to that, senator?

Beers: One thing: TASC.

Moderator: If I may interrupt this erudite discussion for a moment, most people actually care about issues, especially education. What say you?

Gibbons: Education is important. Very important. Most important. I have a plan. Education First. Put education first. No more hostages. Thank you.

Beers: That is a sham. That does nothing to improve education. You know what would improve education? TASC.

Hunt: I have a plan to improve education and put this state on the path to prosperity that I and my assistant, Gov. Guinn, have done so well. Let's invest in our kids. Let's run schools like a business.

Beers: Is she saying something? Anything? I think the fact that Congressman Gibbons is here shows how scared he is of recent polls that show me making progress. And I am for one reason: TASC.

Gibbons: Oh yes, I'm shaking in my boots. Army boots, that is. I was in the war in 1991. We almost got rid of Saddam Hussein.

Beers: So? I almost got rid of Kenny Guinn.

Hunt: I was there with the governor, only a heartbeat away, and that's just not true, senator.

Moderator: Brief closing statement, please?

Hunt: No one else has won a statewide race. I'm the only one here the governor likes. Take a walk down that path to prosperity with me again.

Gibbons: Message: I'm winning, I promise not to do many more of these things and I was in Iraq. You know, the war we won. Kind of.

Beers: TASC.