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Letter: It takes more than money to gain keys to God’s kingdom

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 | 7:29 a.m.

Warren Buffett, the "Oracle of Omaha" and the "world's second richest man," has recently shocked the world with an unprecedented philanthropic gesture. He has reportedly donated the lion's share of his vast fortune to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, commenting that there are many ways to get to heaven, and this is a great one! Indeed!

This is truly a revolutionary theological breakthrough. The Buddhist monks in Lhasa and the ascetic yogis in India must all be currently in deep "damage control" meditation. The concept is simple: With enough grease, one can buy one's way into the kingdom of the Lord. Does the source of that wealth matter, or is it simply the color of the currency that does? No matter.

The shortcut to salvation has finally been illuminated ... just "spec" the right "futures," keep your browser on Fandango, be poised to hit "enter" at the appropriate moment, and ... away you go!

Mark Bennett, Las Vegas

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