Columnist John Katsilometes: The opinionated license plates of Penn Jillette

Tuesday, Jan. 3, 2006 | 7:30 a.m.

If you find yourself tailing a hot-pink Mini Cooper bearing a vanity licence plate reading "ATHIEST," know that the 6-foot-6 inch ponytailed man behind the wheel is the notoriously opinionated Penn Jillette.

Jillette, who along with partner Teller, organized the third "Penn & Teller's 13 Bloody Days of Xmas" blood drive (which concluded Saturday), owns three Mini Coopers. All are his favorite color, bright pink, and each is fixed with a vanity plate: Jillette's other two plates read "GODLESS" and "NO GOD."

Such public opining is nothing new for Jillette, who for much of his career as a comic magician has argued against organized religion. Also, P&T's program on Showtime, "Bull----," is a self-described debunking crusade that knows no bounds. As for the plates, Jillette said he has been rejected by the DMV just once -- when he tried to secure "INFIDEL" for one of his Minis.

"They said no to that," Jillette said last month during the first day of the blood drive at United Blood Services. He reasoned, probably correctly, that the word's link to terrorism would not fly with the DMV -- and thus has finally found a boundary.

NoteMart

More Penn: Jillette also said that the DVD version of "The Aristocrats," the documentary of dozens of comics telling and explaining a joke with that title, will be out Jan. 24. Jillette filmed the documentary with Paul Provenza; the DVD will be loaded with extra footage, including a memorable rendition by comedy writer Merrill Markoe ...

Vegas, baby, Vegas: Following " Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show" at Mandalay Bay Theatre, the show's headliner was spotted playing cards with Jennifer Aniston and Peter Billingsley -- Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" -- in the resort's Baccarat Crystal Room ...

Gone fishin': Sushi Roku at the Forum Shops at Caesars hosted the unlikely duo of Crispin Glover and Shawn Wayans on New Year's Day. Not together, mind you -- Glover visited for lunch, and Wayans pulled in for an 11 p.m. dinner ...

Douse party: Monte Carlo magician (and above-average NFL prognosticator) Lance Burton was left damp during Monday's Rose Parade in Pasadena, Calif. But Burton's FTD-sponsored float, titled "Your Wish Is My Command," took the parade's Sweepstake Award for the parade's best float.

Said Burton, in a news release: "Despite the nonstop cold rain soaking me to the bone; even knocking my waterproof cape off, it was the children's happy faces and the spirit of the crowd that made it all worthwhile.

(If Burton wants to see some happy faces from Texas fans, he can make USC's Reggie Bush disappear ...)

Slingin' the slang: If the term "Jump the couch" sounds familiar, thank Rebecca Jaeger-Boehmer and Melissa Camarillo of Las Vegas PR agency the Firm. They coined the phrase, which was inspired by Tom Cruise's couch gymnastics on Oprah Winfrey. The term was named Slang of the Year by the Historical Dictionary of American Slang. Props, ladies ...

Onion's appeal: Visits by Paris and Nicky Hilton -- the former at Tao and the latter at Pure -- gives us opportunity to refer to the satirical newspaper and Web site the Onion.

In the savagely satirical publication's year-end person-on-the-street feature, a woman with the fictitious name Miriam Bateman (listed as "tax preparer") answered the question "What are your biggest hopes for 2006?" with "I hope they come out with a third, better Hilton sister."

And maybe a brother?