In polite society

Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2006 | 12:32 p.m.

1 When someone asks you to pass the salt, you never pass it alone, Kobe Armstrong, 9, said. You pass the salt and the pepper. Also, he said, No burps, slurps and gulps.

2 To initiate conversation, Skylar Hungate, 10, suggests, You can comment a lot, like say, Youre a good dancer. If Im at a formal event, I would say good stuff like This restaurant is very nice.

3 On politeness, Sarah Williams, 10, suggests, You say nice things. If you didnt like their dress you dont say, I dont like your dress.

4 When dancing, Samantha Noto, 9, explains, You dont talk to other people on the dance floor. You only talk to your partner.

5 For dinner conversation, Cameron Cotton, 10, suggests asking, Have you been on any vacations lately?

The tables were cleared. Lunch was over, and the disc jockey was spinning songs.

Weeks of dance lessons, role playing and polite conversation were about to be tested.

And here they were, moving in careful steps across the polished floor as the milky voice of Andy Williams crooned "Moon River" through the speaker.

Dressed in their first suits, formal gowns and rented tuxedos, they danced with their parents, their classmates and in a conga line that weaved nimbly through the linen-covered tables.

The girls, like their mothers, wore double rose corsages.

Gazing over at his daughter on the dance floor with her classmates, John Bigelo shook his head with a smile and said, "I don't remember fourth grade being like this when I was a kid."

"It makes you want to go back."

But for these 30 students, moving across the floor at the JW Marriott's Ceres restaurant on a sunny Friday afternoon, this was all about going forward.

They were meeting the world as young men and women, using proper manners, polite speech and the right fork.

It's a tradition that Linda Coleman, a fourth grade teacher at John W. Bonner Elementary School, began 18 years ago at a classroom Valentine's Day party when she realized that not only did the children not know how to dance, they didn't know proper etiquette.

Her Etiquette Ball has since become a practicum for fourth grade students who land in her class. Proper etiquette is incorporated into nearly all facets of her curriculum, including reading, social studies and language.

Learning to set a table (and doing so every night at home), using correct flatware and eating properly are part of the life-skills curriculum.

"Even with dancing we are learning our north, south, east and west," Coleman said. "Half turns and quarter turns become part of math. The more involved children are with learning, the less discipline problems they have."

Social skills, she said, need more emphasis. "We must use manners, not only in school, but at home and in the community because if kids don't learn to respect each other and other cultures, then I don't see the future as being so bright."

The cost of the ball - from a limousine ride to photography - was paid for by the parents, who embraced the event.

Bigelow said he requested his daughter be put in Coleman's class because of her outlook.

"Manners and etiquette are so important," Bigelow said. "If you think about it, when do you learn this anymore? If you don't learn it at home, you don't learn it."

But it's OK if they don't absorb everything.

"It's so you can be really the best you can be," Kobe Armstrong, 9, said while sitting next to his mother, Dusti. "If you really couldn't do anything, maybe you could ask for help, you know, from parents, teachers, lawyers or friend.

"It feels good."

After doing the box step to Donna Summer's "Last Dance," Armstrong and his classmates headed back to the tables for a round of Shirley Temples and to express formal gratitude to their parents from behind a podium where some were barely tall enough to reach the microphone.

"Mrs. Coleman is a class act," said Monique Davidson, whose son Collin was part of the event.

"My son has been asking me to do the box step with him. The other night he was looking at me and said, 'Mom, you're supposed to put your knife on the plate,' and 'You're not supposed to put your napkin on the table until after you're done.'

"Just the fact that he's using manners, etiquette, learning how to dance and how to dress is amazing."

So how did they do?

They impressed one pro - Lorraine Dowdy, the lead server at Ceres.

"They said please and thank you. They used the right utensils, and they put the fork and knife on the plate when they were done," Dowdy said. "They were very polite - better than most adults."

Kristen Peterson can be reached at 259-2317 or at kristen@lasvegassun.com.