Jon Ralston’s take on the first meeting of Gibbons’ team

Wednesday, Dec. 6, 2006 | 7:11 a.m.

Welcome to the Thomas & Mack Center for the first meeting of the Gov.- elect Jim Gibbons transition team. First, let's hear from the man about to take the state's most important job.

Gibbons: "As you can see from the thousands of people here, I am an inclusive governor. Inclusion is good, from the ground up, just as I know water from the ground up. I invited everyone to be on my transition team but three people - Kenny Guinn, Dina Titus and, of course, Chrissy Mazzeo. I wanted to have her, but Dawn vetoed that."

Titus (yelling from the nosebleed seats): "I'm not happy."

Ex-Sen./Gov. Richard Bryan, ignoring Titus: "As co-chair of this fine amalgam of people, I must say I am honored, as is my law firm, Lionel Sawyer & Collins. And some of my partners appreciate the governor-elect's willingness to let our firm control the appointments to the Gaming Control Board. Sorry, Sig. You can't have them all."

Ex-Gov. Bob List: "As my co-chairman said, I, too, am honored. I show my appreciation by passing out to each of you the Nuclear Energy Institute's new manifesto, which I understand will make up the third page of Jim's State of the State, called, 'Getting Screwed Can Feel Good.' "

Lt. Gov. Lorraine Hunt (singing): "There's no business like political business like no business I know. I can call Jim a plagiarist and a flip-flopper who has shattered our trust. But then I can come and be a prop for him. Like no business I know."

Gibbons (Dawn is whispering in his ear): "Thanks, Lorraine. I always loved 'The Sound of Music.' Now let's talk about ideas. I don't have any. How about you, Perry?"

Perry Comeaux, chairman of the budget working group (in his drawl): "At first I thought Jim picked me to get all the Titus accent-lovers back."

Titus (yelling again from far away): "I'm not happy."

Comeaux: "But seriously, we have some important budget issues this biennium. We need to decide how much we want to put into programs such as all-day kindergarten, how much money we have for social programs and how many prisons we need to build. These are serious policy issues. That's why the governor-elect invited us - to make these decisions for him. Mr. Beers?"

State Sen. Bob Beers: "I have a solution ... (he is cut off by Comeaux)"

Comeaux: "No, I meant Assemblyman Bob Beers."

Assemblyman Beers: "I am glad you asked for my input. I think I know about as little as the governor-elect on most of these issues, but ..."

Comeaux: "I was kidding, assemblyman. I have no idea why you are even here. Senator?"

Sen. Beers: "I don't think we can forget Tax and Spending Control. It is still the be all and end all."

Gibbons: "Bob, you lost. I won. Do that math. You are here because I'd rather have you urinating inside the tent than doing it outside. And I know urine from the ground up, too."

Scott Craigie, member of the budget and education working groups: "May I say something here? I am wearing a few hats here today. I am on the budget and education teams, I am a close adviser to Dawn and Jim, I am the brains behind Education First and I have lobbying clients. So I am wearing all those hats and, and ... I forgot what I wanted to say."

Assemblywoman Heidi Gansert, member of budget group: "Why am I here? Because it's cool to be? I don't think so."

Chancellor Jim Rogers, member of education group: "What the hell is the purpose of this meeting? Why are all these people here, Jim? This isn't a transition; it's a political rally."

Gibbons (Dawn is whispering in his ear again): "Um, sorry, Jim. Whatever you say. Dawn and I love higher education. And I know I promised you all that money for the university system, but what about my Dina Taxes thing?"

Titus (yelling from rafters): "I'm not happy."

Larry Ruvo, spirit man and member of the education group: "Anybody want some wine?"

State Sen. Barbara Cegavske, member of the education group: "I am all for all-day kindergarten and more social programs and more health care programs, too, so everyone is happy. So long as it doesn't cost money."

Gibbons: "This is a great start. So many good ideas. So much stuff to think about. Pretty soon now, I will be ready to set my priorities. (He looks behind him.) Right, Dawn?"