Some stuff you may want stuffed into many stockings

Ron Kantowski, Las Vegas Sun

Sunday, Dec. 3, 2006 | 7:41 a.m.

If Kris Kringle and Monty Hall ever bumped into each other on a busy street corner with their hands full, the Las Vegas Sun holiday auction might be the result.

Once again it's time to make a deal - or at least a bid - on all the promotional items the Sun reporting staff acquires throughout the year. And for a change, not all of the items have the NASCAR logo emblazoned on the side.

This is the ninth year the Sun is holding a holiday auction, with the money raised going toward the Sun Summer Camp Fund.

There's a stocking stuffer for virtually everyone on your list. Actually, with 227 items from which to choose, there's a stocking stuffer for everyone, period.

But say, for example, that you're unfortunate enough to have Kevin Federline on your list. You could bid on a three-piece set of Britney Spears' Curious (item No. 204) which includes body souffle, shower gel, cologne and a prenuptial agreement. (OK, I was just kidding about the prenup.)

Or let's say you don't know what to get that hard-to-buy-for distant, distant, distant, distant relative, I might suggest "My Gym Partner's a Monkey" (item No. 5), a 30-minute animated DVD from the Cartoon Network.

If you're like me, then you're probably a big Jim Fowler fan. You remember Jim Fowler - he was the guy in the pith helmet wrestling a crazed rhino while Marlon Perkins was back in camp, selling insurance policies to the native girls. So why not relive the glory days of Sunday evening television by bidding on Animal Planet's fourth season premiere of "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" (item No. 12)?

And while the number of UNLV football fans on your list probably is dwindling, a Rebels die-hard might like to see his hall decked with Febreze Noticeables (item No. 32), an electric air freshener that would even make a UNLV loss to UNR seem a little more fragrant.

Maybe those near and dear to you have been more naughty than nice. So why not just stuff your own stocking? I would start with Rocket Pen (item No. 56), a writing instrument that comes with its own "mission control" and a large can of Liquid-Plumr. Why didn't NASA think of that?

Another possibility is a pair of pink 14-ounce women's training gloves made by Everlast (item No. 159), perfect for shadow boxing, martial arts, aerobic boxing and sparring, and punching the lights out of any aunt or uncle who drops a fruitcake on your foot.

Take my word for it. Who needs laying geese, leaping lords or milking maids when we've got a gift to last the 12 days of Christmas and half of January, too?

So log onto the Sun Web site (www.lasvegassun.com), click on the holiday auction link. and start your bidding. Because quite frankly, these turtle doves are starting to get on my nerves.

You can bid by visiting the Sun Web site, www.lasvegassun.com, and clicking on the Sun holiday auction link. Bids must be e-mailed to holidayauction@lasvegassun.com.

(Readers without computer access can call 259-4050 to request the auction list.)

Send a separate e-mail for each item you want to bid on. Please list the item by number and include a short description. Items must be picked up in person, so if you e-mail from Dubuque, Iowa, and aren't planning on spending the holidays in Las Vegas, save the bandwidth.

Minimum bid is $2.

Important: E-mail bids need the name of the bidder and a contact phone number in the body of the e-mail. Every bid must be made in a separate e-mail.

The deadline for bidding is Friday, Dec. 15. Merchandise can be picked up during business hours (9 a.m. to 5 p.m.) at the Sun building, 2275 Corporate Circle, Suite 300, Henderson, NV 89074, beginning Monday, Dec. 18. Winning bidders will be notified by e-mail or telephone (mail or drop-off bids).

All sales are final.

Please do not call the Sun to inquire about merchandise.