Columnist Susan Snyder: Fear of unknown is contagious

Tuesday, Sept. 20, 2005 | 8:17 a.m.

Hit the grocery store over the weekend and didn't catch typhoid.

Figured that probably is newsworthy in some circles, seeing as how I never use those those little anti-bacterial wipes grocery stores are now providing to clean off shopping carts.

It's amazing any of us survived before baby wipes.

A University of Arizona study released this year could suggest that the supermarket bathroom is likely cleaner than its carts, simply because the bathroom is cleaned more often. Ditto, the study says, for the comparison between your bathroom at home and telephone receiver in the kitchen.

Honestly, the things Americans come up with to worry about.

If we're not bickering over the Pledge of Allegiance, or how to credibly teach our kids that science and that a sweet Sunday school fable are the same thing, we're worrying about catching our death while buying a head of lettuce and a dozen eggs.

Make that, organic, chemical-free lettuce and eggs from happy-go-lucky free-range chickens.

We're not too terribly concerned with relaxed federal environment standards that make our air scuzzy and kill our wetlands. We fret instead about dust mites under the sofa and the creepies lurking in the kitchen sponge.

According to the university's research, telephone receivers carried the most germs, followed by doorknobs, remote controls, microwave ovens, light switches and refrigerator handles.

See? That late-night snack could kill you.

It would be better to give me that leftover pie.

The office is another source of squalor, as phones, computer keyboards and mice (mouses?) evidently carry enough bacteria to start a new planet.

A very dirty one.

But that's not news to anyone who works in an office. An entire study could be based on the residue in coworkers' coffee cups alone. There likely is a cure for cancer or something in there.

The only cleaning that occurs is done by a crew that sticks mostly to bathrooms, floors and trash cans.

There usually is one conscientious employee who will take on the refrigerator once a month. But the desktops are typically left to the mercy of individuals.

I haven't seen the top of one of my coworkers' desks in four years. I simply hope the load doesn't shift onto my area and knock over my collection of travel coffee mugs. Not sure what would spill out of them.

I can understand washing one's hands a few times a day is a good idea. But I'd rather risk the flu than wipe down a grocery cart in public.

Honestly, can you imagine looking any more paranoid?

And you're just going to pick up and replace the same green pepper touched by the 60 other customers who strolled through the store before you.

Even if we all shopped wearing rubber gloves and surgical masks, we're still exposed to whatever ended up in our food during the processing and packaging. A friend once told me we eat a pound of dirt and pound of bugs every year.

Haven't heard from her in a while ...

When it comes to being clean we probably do need to get a grip.

But better grab a wipe, first.