Columnist Susan Snyder: Bad news causing mass listeria

Tuesday, Sept. 6, 2005 | 8:16 a.m.

When recalls involve a politician, they make news.

But what about baked beans?

While cruising the wires for more tales on the buffoonery that is our federal government's emergency response policy, I discovered that the Consumer Product Safety Commission and other entities recalled at least a dozen items in the past week.

No, Federal Emergency Management Agency Director Michael Brown did not make the list.

Yet.

Anyway, beware of 18,510 pounds of barbecue beans with beef from Allison's Gourmet Kitchens Ltd., of Oklahoma. Those with "use-by" dates of Sept. 3, 13, 20 or 21 maybe contaminated with listeria. Delicatessens that stocked the beans included those in Arkansas, Nebraska, Texas, Oklahoma and Louisiana. (Those people cannot get a break.)

Even without listeria, the image of 18,510 pounds of barbecue beans with beef is disturbing. Equally disturbing is the mental picture of 35,830 pounds of Polish sausage Lykes Meat Group recalled because it may have been "underprocessed."

But we probably eat and use a lot of stuff that should be recalled. Shoot, we've been running a country for six years with a whole houseful of recall-worthy tripe.

So it seems odd to get edgy about a bag of almonds.

But Harry & David Operations Corp. of Oregon has recalled 1,400, 6-ounce bags of spiced-apple almonds because the packaging fails to note the nuts contained milk products. (Look for code 1815SF.)

The CPSC and Disney also recalled red Mickey Mouse and Snitch sunglasses attached to navy- or light-blue toddler hats, which sold for about $16 at Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, its Vero Beach, Fla. resort and on its cruise ships.

The paint contains lead.

"Lead is toxic if ingested by young children and can cause adverse health effects," the CPSC release states.

Parents who paid $16 for a pair of plastic toddler's sunglasses also should seek immediate counseling. (OK, I made up that part.)

The toxic tot glasses can be exchanged for a new set and "20 Disney Dollars" (something I could not make up).

We can take comfort in knowing private industry can flub as proficiently as government. The CPSC recalled 23 items last month could maim or kill by cracking, snapping, pinching or exploding.

They include 494,000 Back Trails Jr. brand bicycle helmets, 480,000 pairs of Surf Club water wings and 25,000 BMX bicycles painted to look like Harley-Davidson motorcycles.

The CPSC says the helmets weren't properly safety tested. Forks on 15 of the bicycles reportedly have snapped, and seams on the water wings split when inflated. (Must have been a great summer for the emergency rooms.)

For details on these and other recalls check out www.cpsc.gov. Catch the latest and greatest involving General Motors products. Learn about exploding tiki torches. Read about hydrogen gas building up in the battery compartment of certain brands of water scooters, causing "the battery package to forcefully expel from the product."

You know, we could use some forceful expulsion right now.

But as I said, FEMA authorities weren't listed.

Yet.