10 crime-fighting ideas to be considered by Mayor Oscar Goodman

Monday, Nov. 7, 2005 | 8:16 a.m.

10. Jaywalkers are blindfolded and shoved onto the Strip about 11 on a Friday night.

9. Shoplifters caught lifting any embarrassingly bad Western-themed art must prominently display the stolen works in their living room whenever their boss or in-laws come to dinner.

8. Anyone convicted of an organized crime count -- wait a minute, what organized crime?

7. Speeders are sentenced to drive nightly on the Strip -- they'll never go above 8 mph again.

6. Assault and battery convictions compel the offender to play defense for the UNLV football team, which can use all the help it can get in that regard.

5. Public intoxication charges bring a reward, not a punishment -- a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin. It's Oscar-licious!

4. Those nabbed sneaking into hotels' all-you-can-eat buffets must consume an entire tray of the least popular item served that night -- after some kid sneezes on it.

3. People found to be illegally receiving cable TV are strapped to a Barcalounger in front of a TV set to a home shopping channel's 14-hour marathon on crystal figurines depicting "Great Moments in Stamp Collecting" -- with the remote just beyond their grasp.

2. Ticket scalpers are sentenced to watch 250 "Legends in Concert" performances of The Captain and Tennille impersonators' rendition of "Muskrat Love."

1. You don't even want to know what he has in mind for rapists.

-- Barry Horstman