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December 4, 2009

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10 theories on why trees in Sun City Anthem are being vandalized

Wednesday, Nov. 2, 2005 | 7:23 a.m.

10 theories on why trees in Sun City Anthem are being vandalized:

10. This has the fingerprints of the Joyce Kilmer Defamation Society all over it

9. Developers figure removing one tree creates enough square footage for another $395,000 house

8. Neighborhood residents angry that trees block view of picturesque Interstate 215 interchange

7. Turf war between rival landscape gangs Birch Bloods and Cedar Crips

6. Every tree that doesn't have to be watered equals 3.7 million more ice cubes a year for casino drinks

5. With Las Vegas' lunarlike environment, occasional greenery is nothing but the embarrassing landscaping equivalent of a bad comb-over

4. We all owe the vandals thanks for removing a hazard for low-flying planes headed toward McCarran

3. What this town really needs is some more red rocks in its landscaping

2. Even for beavers at Lake Mead, an idle mind is the devil's workshop

1. If you were the Amazing Johnathan, wouldn't cutting your arm be getting a little old by now?

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