Friday, May 13, 2005 | 8:43 a.m.
Two warnings should be placed at the entry to the 250-seat theater where hypnotist Anthony Cools performs nightly.
First, leave your inhibitions at the door or you will surely be offended by something that is said or done during the performance. You could even be offended by this review.
Second, don't fall asleep, because you may miss something hilarious, or you might wake up to find out you are part of the act.
"The Anthony Cools Experience" at Paris Las Vegas is an adult show centered on sex and sexual innuendo, fart jokes and other social taboos.
From the moment he puts his dozen or so volunteers into a dreamlike state until the show's end, when he awakens them with the instructions to go home and have the best sex they have ever had, Cools keeps his audience in stitches.
While he might be a top-notch hypnotist, Cools is first and foremost a fast-thinking comedian who milks humor out of every situation that arises onstage.
He works the hypnotized volunteers like an orchestra conductor, creating a sort of harmony out of diversified bits he creates for the individuals.
One person may find his bottom on fire whenever he hears the Johnny Cash tune, "Ring of Fire" -- to put out the flame he scoots across stage.
A woman suddenly finds her private parts talking to her -- and to the audience -- whenever her name is mentioned.
Cools orders a subject to perform an embarrassing act on cue, and then moves on to another subject who is told to perform another embarrassing act -- and then he returns to each subject throughout the evening, like a performance artist who can keep several plates spinning at the same time.
A volunteer is told whenever he hears a cue he will use his cell phone to call a friend and offer to perform oral sex for a nickel.
"Do not call a family member," Cools warns.
Throughout the night the subject propositioned friends over the phone -- and at the end of the evening, after being brought out of his hypnotic state, quickly began re-calling everyone and apologizing.
Another volunteer is told the numeral 2 does not exist and then is asked to count her fingers, ending up with six on each hand.
While the slowest part of any hypnosis show is putting the volunteers into the state in which they are willing to do the hypnotist's bidding, Cools has a talent for moving through the process quickly and effortlessly.
He brings the cast of volunteers onstage and begins weeding them out, until he has the most susceptible subjects. If a female volunteer has an extremely short skirt, he gives her a blanket and tells her to cover up.
"The show is uncensored, but not X-rated," he says. "Keep this on your lap."
Once the process is complete and the final subjects have been chosen, Cools warms up the act by convincing them they are in an orchestra playing an instrument to "The William Tell Overture."
And then he tells them that, when he touches his own forehead, they will be convinced that the person sitting next to them has passed gas.
One subject becomes Garth Brooks, roaming through the audience, lip-syncing to fans.
Another has lost his dog and must wander around the room calling its name -- an unprintable phrase that has everyone laughing.
"The dog is lost in this room," Cools tells him. "Don't go out into the casino."
The volunteers are convinced they are naked at an audition for a pornographic movie and that they must have sex with a chair.
"This is not a chair," Cools says. "It will be the best-looking person you have ever seen in your life."
Girls with bras are told to go offstage and return wearing them outside of their clothing.
"If you're not wearing a bra tonight, you will find yourself stuck to your chair," he says.
The men are told they are gay and that their penises are growing out of their forehead.
"I have to think of this (expletive deleted)," Cools deadpans to the audience.
While not everyone may like the way Cools thinks, if you are in the right frame of mind you will enjoy the evening with the hypnotist.
Just don't fall asleep or you may wake up with your privates talking to the audience.