Friday, March 11, 2005 | 8:28 a.m.
Anyone who has ever been forced to share living space with an army of common household ants knows that once the pesky little buggers invade a place, they're seemingly everywhere.
Maybe it's a coincidence, but the same can be said these days about the comedian named ANT who, as of late, is all over prime-time television.
With his master-manipulating skills, he earned equal amounts of affection and disdain from his funny housemates and viewers while participating in all three seasons of the NBC reality series "Last Comic Standing."
Though the 32-year-old didn't win the show's title prize, the New Hampshire native -- who plays The Improv at Harrah's Tuesday through March 20 -- insists the outcome was exactly as he intended.
"I just wanted to become famous off of it enough to do what I wanted to do," he explains. "I even said it on the show: I said, 'You know what, America, when the show is done you will not remember the winner, but you will all remember me.' That was my premonition; that was my promise and I think I kept it."
It's tough to disagree with him on that point: These days, ANT hosts a pair of VH1 series -- "Celebrity Fit Club" and "Redlight-Greenlight" -- and serves as a talent judge on WB's "Steve Harvey's Big Time," as well as providing man-on-the-street bits for Dennis Miller's CNBC talk show. Meanwhile ANT's stand-up special, taped last year, is in rotation on Comedy Central.
"I am swamped," he said during a recent call from Los Angeles, where he resides. "It's a good thing, though."
At least, most of the time.
"Fame is very bizarre," he says. "The part that takes getting used to is when (people) ask for autographs at inopportune moments, like when I'm standing at the urinal. I just wanna go, 'All right, hold this and I'll do it.' Literally, that's happened to me twice now."
Such moments are unforgettable, similar to his performances on- and offstage during episodes of "Last Comic Standing."
ANT (born Anthony Kalloniatis) annoyed and frustrated several of the contestants throughout the show's second season with his antics and comedy routines, which he insists were edited by the network to focus on the fact that he is gay.
Nevertheless, "I knew exactly what I was doing. Nothing you saw from me was reality," he contends. "And the fact that I tricked the producers into thinking this was all real was crazy, I think."
As for his material, he describes it as being "down the middle. When I do my stand-up show, so little happens to be about my being gay, maybe 15 minutes of the act," he explains.
The rest is composed of jokes about his parents (who live in Las Vegas) and other relatives, as well as observations about "life, and credit-card debt, and smoking," among others. Most of those quips, however, weren't aired during the show's run.
"The network has the power over all the editing," he says, "so you're edited to look exactly how they want you to look."
Not that ANT has any regrets: "I knew going in that if I was gonna become the bad seed on the show ... that I would have my share of critics, so I was expecting it. If it didn't happen, I would have been more worried because it's the (television) critics that actually made me a star. They loved me so much, they wrote about me every week."
Contrary to popular to belief, what "Last Comic Standing" didn't do was make ANT an overnight celebrity. He says he's been striving for star status since first taking the comedy stage in 1994 during an open-mike night at an L.A. club.
After working his share of "crappy road gigs," ANT landed a regular role on the WB sitcom "Unhappily Ever After" for five seasons during the '90s. In 2000 he hosted the game show "To Tell the Truth."
"I've paid my dues," he says.
He's reaping the benefits, hosting the wildly popular "Celebrity Fit Club" reality series, which tracks eight overweight, B-list celebs -- including actor Daniel Baldwin, Wendy "The Snapple Lady" Kaufman, "Divorce Court's" Judge Mablean, and plus-sized model Mia Tyler -- as they attempt to shed their excess pounds. The season finale airs at 10 p.m. Sunday on Cox cable channel 39.
"It's visual cocaine," ANT explains of the show's attraction. "When you're dieting it's really difficult, but you take some solace in seeing celebrities doing the same thing and failing ... You're watching these stars and they're having the same problems you have, which tells you you're on the right track."
ANT will spend the remainder of this year juggling his television work with performances throughout the country as part of his "Follow My Ass!" stand-up tour, which shares its name with his debut comedy CD that dropped in December.
"I give people a really good show that's a really well-rounded show, and I'm very proud of it," he says.
That likely would not have been possible when ANT was mired in drug and alcohol addiction.
"I was unhireable three years ago," he says, claiming that a visit from "an angel" one night set him on the road to recovery, which included attending 12-step meetings.
"I remember saying to (the angel) during my visitation, 'Of all the people starving and suffering in the world, why are you here with me?' " he says. "And she said, 'Because you asked' ... and the next morning I woke up and I had no more cravings for the drugs," he says.
Since getting clean and sober, he's been "extremely picky" about the types of television work he accepts. "I got into this business to have a good time, so I'm not doing any project that doesn't let me have a good time."
Of course, anyone knows that magnifying an ant under the glare of a spotlight for too long usually brings disastrous results.
"I'm not worried about overexposure," ANT insists. "I am so new and America still has a fascination with me. I think in two years, if you're still turning every channel and I'm on it, then I'd worry."
Out for laughs
Freddy Soto and Jeffrey Ross headline the "Hollywood Comedy Tour" at 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Saturday at The Palms. Tickets are $25.
Aspiring comedians, listen up: The preliminary round of the "Laughs Off" comedy contest will be staged from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. March 24 during "Laughs at The Beach" at the Beach nightclub. The contest is open "to anyone who thinks they have what it takes to make people laugh" -- and the $20 entry fee -- according to producer/comedian Shelly McCarty.
Contestants will perform a set that's five- to 10 minutes in length; their material, delivery style/professionalism, as well as the audience's response to the performance will be judged by a panel of professional comics. The five top vote-getters will participate in the final competition March 26, where they'll be judged by another group of pro comics. Three winners will take home cash prizes. Call 358-6006 for info.
More on McCarty: The funny lady, who runs and stars in "Laughs at The Beach," sent a note alerting Laugh Lines that she and comedians Joe Lowers and Honour Pillow are set to perform a show -- appropriately titled "Laughs on the Road" -- in early April at the Cocopah Casino in Somerton, Ariz.
More comedy coming to House of Blues at Mandalay Bay: Gilbert Gottfried is scheduled to headline April 1; tickets are $17 to $30. Bob Saget takes the stage June 4, with BJ Novak opening; tickets are $22 to $35.
Catch Jeff Capri -- profiled in this space in 2003 -- through Sunday at The Improv at Harrah's.
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