Conference shows domestic abuse’s effect on children

Annie Flanzraich

Thursday, June 9, 2005 | 9:39 a.m.

Paul Hegstrom's idea that domestic violence sprouts from childhood abuse struck a chord with some of the 130 domestic abuse counselors and professionals who attended an all-day seminar on the topic Wednesday.

Hegstrom, the keynote speaker and author of two books on domestic violence, related his own experiences as perpetrator of domestic abuse and as a childhood victim.

His situation is not uncommon, said Barbara Belcher, an acting supervisor for the Alternative Sentencing and Education Division of Las Vegas Municipal Court.

"A lot of people think about the victim," she said. "They don't think about the children of the victims. The fact that these children grow up to be victims or perpetrators themselves. They have a lot of different emotional and psychological problems that come about."

She said part of the purpose of the the two-day conference hosted by Municipal Court at the East Las Vegas Community Senior Center was to stop the cycle of abuse that is rooted in childhood and adolescence.

Hegstrom's method tackles the cycle by defining childhood abuse in five ways: rejection, incest, molestation, emotional abuse and physical abuse. He theorizes any single or a combination of these events could alter a person's mental and emotional development.

Sharon Walton, a contract instructor with Family and Child Treatment, part of the Alternative Sentencing Division, said that while she addresses childhood incidents in her classes she has not gone into as much depth as Hegstrom's program proposes.

"We talk about growing up in a household that has been abusive and learning the abuse from it." Walton said. "We haven't gone back into how a child might have been abused in all these different ways."

For Hegstrom, molestation, rape and emotional trauma in his childhood stunted his development and created what he calls a Jekyll and Hyde personality. In this state, Hegstrom said, he could seem like the nicest guy on the block even when he was beating his wife.

Walton said Hegstrom's personal experiences shed light on why some men she works with cannot accept responsibility for their actions.

"These are guys that come in denial," she said. "We understand why they're saying it and why they can't accept the responsibility."

Domestic abuse is a learned behavior and sometimes people who grew up in abusive situations do not recognize how destructive it is, Belcher said.

"If you grew up with a parent who slapped you across the room every time you looked at them sideways and you feel you turned out alright and that's what you do when you raise your child, you don't believe anything is wrong," she said. "You have to recognize it before you can admit it."

Municipal Court deals with domestic abuse perpetrators on different levels that involve combinations of jail time and either a 26-week or 52-week therapy session. For the past year perpetrators have also been able to get counseling while they are in prison.

Municipal Judge George Assad, who introduced Hegstrom, said he believes this method works but said judges need to look at domestic abuse cases in their entirety before deciding on a sentence.

"I think judges need to take a more active role in these cases and not simply go along with the plea bargain," Assad said. "Sometimes the judge needs to look into the criminal history of the person and look into the particulars of the case and not necessarily rubber stamp each plea recommendation."

Assad said Las Vegas Municipal Court handled 4,000 domestic violence cases last year.

Belcher said she has seen many perpetrators who are in their late teens and early 20s coming into the program.

"I don't think it just started (abusing) the day they turned 18," she said. "It's an issue they've been dealing with at home or not knowing how to handle anger issues."

She said because teen dating violence happens when the people involved are minors the perpetrator does not go through the same system an adult would go through and therefore the problem might not be properly addressed.

Sandra Scott a manager of the Alternative Sentencing and Education Division said children of domestic abusers are sometimes referred to therapy through the court system and that is usually effective.

However, C.J. McLaurin, another counselor with the division, said she would like abuse education begin earlier.

"I would love to teach what we are teaching (in the program) in grade school," McLaurin said. "We don't know about each other's sex. Everything is different. We don't process information the same way."