Columnist Susan Snyder: Hopefully heat is short term

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 | 8:13 a.m.

There is no cold water at our house.

At least, none from the faucets.

Having lived in places where low humidity meant it took only one towel to dry off after a shower (Florida), and the number 7 was a shoe size or the temperature outside depending on whether it was winter (Utah), it would seem that a little heat spell wouldn't be that big of a deal.

But record-breaking heat is hard to ignore when even cold showers run scalding hot. One steps from the shower not merely clean but sterilized.

Still, we should have some sympathy for those unwitting tourists stranded without air conditioning inside McCarran International Airport over the weekend.

But, we don't. They get to go home, eventually. So what if they leave a little sweat along with their money?

The National Weather Service says we broke a record set in 1959 when temperatures at McCarran hit 116 Sunday. And more record-breaking heat is expected the rest of this week.

Curious to learn more, I popped onto the agency's Web site (www.nws.noaa.gov) to find more fun facts about weather only Satan could enjoy.

Instead, I became entangled in a glossary of about 2,000 terms Weather People use when talking to those of us who simply define weather as hot, cold, nice or wish-I-had-known-before-I-moved-here.

I perused the list hoping to find something that would shed light on this phenomena that has made getting clean akin to being stewed.

"Dam failure" the site says, does not refer to McCarran's A/C system but to a "catastrophic event" caused by "the sudden, rapid and uncontrolled released of impounded water."

"Depression" has to do with tropical storm systems, not weary desert residents.

"Fanning" is not what Ohio tourists do while standing at the airport security gates, but is "a pattern of plume dispersion in a stable atmosphere."

"Fetch" has to do with ocean waves and wind, but says nothing about bringing ice water to those rinsing their hair.

While wasting a perfectly good job and degree in journalism by poring over Internet weather nonsense, I also discovered some deep, dark secrets about what the Weather People tell us.

"Partly cloudy" and "partly sunny", the service says, mean the same thing. Ha! We always knew it.

And there are actual definitions for hail. According to the chart, it isn't golf-ball size unless it is 1.75 inches in diameter.

Additionally, hen's-egg hail is larger than Ping-Pong ball hail. And grapefruit-size (4 inches) means larger than a teacup (3 inches) but smaller than a softball (4.5 inches).

Wind isn't subjective either. A moderate breeze (11 to 16 mph) is stiffer than a gentle breeze (7 to 10 mph) but lighter than a fresh breeze (17 to 21 mph) and a strong breeze (22 to 27 mph).

But no terms differentiated between unbearably hot and maniacally hot.

Suffice to say it's hot (make that, "dam hot"). And there is no sense being out in it. The jogging, yard work and other stuff can wait -- at least until cold water once again runs from the faucet.