Long Division: Experts say celeb marriages such as Pitt-Aniston often succumb to pressure

Kirk Baird

Monday, Jan. 24, 2005 | 8:18 a.m.

"It's Over! Why They Split!"

"Brad & Angelina: The Real Truth."

"Brad & Jen's Final Showdown Over Angelina Jolie ... Why They Really Split!"

As if Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston didn't have enough problems after announcing their separation two weeks ago, now every tabloid and celebrity magazine is adding to their mess:

Rumors of Pitt having an extramarital affair with Angelina Jolie, which the actress denied in a statement.

Reports that Pitt wanted children but Aniston didn't.

Meanwhile, the former couple, in a press statement announcing their separation, denied those stories:

"For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of speculation reported by the tabloid media." With the paparazzi and tabloids following the couple's every move, it's no wonder they split.

"When you think about it, a celebrity has got all the same pressures and ... challenges and joys that anyone else does," said Diana Shepherd, editorial director for Divorce magazine, a Toronto-based quarterly publication devoted to helping couples survive splitting up.

"They also have huge additional pressures to do it in the public eye. And the media, whether reported correctly or incorrectly, is an additional stress, too."

Because of all the added pressures of being a Hollywood dream couple, Las Vegas resident and celebrity fan Christy Cuban found herself pulling for Pitt and Aniston to stay together.

"You see a couple like that, and right away and you're rooting for them," she said. "It just makes you sad."

Of course, Pitt and Aniston aren't the only major celeb couple to separate. Last year, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez broke off their engagement, bringing an end to the media-created spectacle known as "Bennifer." Affleck has since rebounded with Jennifer Garner, while Lopez married singer Marc Anthony.

And in August 2001, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman divorced though tabloids still report of a possible reconciliation.

Other celeb couples to call it quits: Billy Bob Thornton and Jolie, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, Nicolas Cage and Patricia Arquette and, later, Cage and Lisa Marie Presley.

Noticing a pattern?

So has Fran McClain, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in marriage counseling.

McClain, who has been counseling Las Vegas couples for 10 years, said being in a relationship is difficult enough without the added pressures of celebrity.

"It's hard enough for a couple to come together, each being two lives, two personalities," she said.

But with a celebrity, there's the issue of public identity -- who they are to the fans -- as well as private identity.

"There's always the perception of who you are by the public, and your spouse doesn't even know who you are yet," McClain said. "To have a healthy relationship, you need the intimacy and the time of really getting to know each other: How often did they date before getting married? Did they really know each other that well?"

Separation can also play a large role in the demise of the relationship, with celebrities often on film locations that are continents apart from each other for months at a stretch.

And then when discussions of starting a family begin, a spouse might not be willing to put his or her role as movie star temporarily on hold.

"(Careers are) like another person in the relationship," McClain said. " 'You want to have a baby, but I have this movie deal coming up.'

"You're talking about a competitive business. When do you take time off? How many times do you pass things up?"

Not everyone is convinced, though, that celebrities face more difficulties than non-celebs when it comes to relationships.

Gerald Weeks, a psychologist and marriage counselor professor at UNLV, cites research on the marriages of mental health professionals as an example.

The idea behind the study was that those in the mental-health industry were less likely to divorce than couples with non-mental health jobs.

"They found the statistics for divorce were virtually the same across the board as you would find in the general population," Weeks said.

Although he knows of no study examining celebrity relationships, Weeks said the same pattern of divorce is most likely true for celebrities, that half of all marriages fail.

"They have different kinds of pressures ... the pressure of looking good," he said. "Compare them to low-income people who worry how to make two ends meet and how to feed the kids."

Perhaps fueling the notion of doomed relationships for celebs is the amount of press their breakups receive.

"If a low-income couple gets a divorce, it doesn't make the news. But a high-profile divorce makes the news and everybody's talking about it," Weeks said. "The divorce rate is pretty high anyway. You just don't know."

Hollywood is not without successful long-term relationships, however.

While there are plenty of examples of long-term celebrity couples -- Kurt Russell-Goldie Hawn; Tim Robbins-Susan Sarandon -- the most cited example is Paul Newman-Joanne Woodward.

Newman married Woodward in a 1958 ceremony in Las Vegas, one week after divorcing his first wife, Jackie Witte.

"My presumption is that both of them went into the marriage with the idea of staying married rather than the idea of a displaced marriage," Shepherd said. "And they have committed and recommitted to the marriage over the years."

Is there still hope for a Pitt-Aniston 50th anniversary as well?

Shepherd thinks so, if the two are willing to work at their relationship. In fact, her advice for the two celebrities is the same she would give many couples struggling to keep a marriage together.

"You don't have to be a celebrity to neglect your marriage," she said. "Marriage is an entity and it's not going to survive unless it's nourished. And you can't do that if you focus entirely on your career or your children.

"The truth is, great marriages take work. Willingness to work at it is going to separate those who get divorced early on and those who stay together."