Tuesday, Feb. 15, 2005 | 8:11 a.m.
There was a night in 2003 when I would have given my soul and the souls of my family and yours for an RV.
We were halfway through a self-contained bicycle tour of Canada's Icefields Parkway and had pitched our tent the previous evening in a storm that had changed from rain to sleet and snow.
It was August.
Our next stop was to be the Columbia Icefields, where there was a hotel. We stopped at a gas station the following morning and called to reserve a room. My drop-dead, cutoff price?
"I don't care if it costs $500," I told The Other.
I suppose it is a night such as that one -- or perhaps a whole string of them -- that compels people to pay $8 a head just to look at recreational vehicles.
We went to the one at Cashman Center over the weekend out of curiosity. I still don't fully understand the draw and probably never will.
But, the RV salesmen of the world don't need me. There seems to be no end to the thousands of people eagerly drawn into the clammy embrace of satellite television and climate-controlled camping confines.
A study by the Recreation Vehicle Industry Association shows that for every 12 households in which people own motor vehicles, one of those families also owns an RV. The typical RV owner is 49, married, has an annual income of at least $56,000 and travels 4,500 miles over 28 to 35 days a year.
A couple of the models on display at Cashman this past weekend had more amenities than my first four apartments and better plumbing than two of them. But they were only in the $250,000 range, and I've seen some that cost twice as much.
Still, what do you get for $250,000?
For starters, two flat-screen televisions -- a 24-inch above the driver up front and a 20-inch in the bedroom. (The salesman all but apologized for them being LCD screens, rather than plasma.)
There was a washer-dryer, full kitchen with microwave and a shower that a person could actually turn around in. A video camera mounted in the rear was to help the driver maneuver the wheeled behemoth, which made me wonder why, then, it had a passenger seat.
It all rolls down the road getting eight to 10 miles per gallon (diesel). A full 130-gallon tank of gas should last about 1,000 miles, depending on the terrain, the salesman said.
It's 45 feet long, so there is room for about 100 of those yellow ribbon magnets showing support for troops fighting in Operation Iraqi Liberation ... er, "Freedom."
But at $250,000, we've ceased talking about a trailer and started talking about a mortgage payment. People generally finance larger RVs over 20 years as a second home, one salesman said. The going interest rate is about 6 percent, he added. So that's about $1,700 a month.
Proponents say it's worth it to avoid the stress of finding hotels every night. Still, no one mentioned the stress of steering a bus that's also towing a car and two jet boats over a mountain pass at 35 mph.
In the left lane.
Such luxury would be nice when the weather isn't. But for $250,000, it better come with someone who changes the sheets and cooks every day.
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