Gay, lesbian parents worry about children’s harrassment

Friday, Aug. 12, 2005 | 9:58 a.m.

Most parents are apprehensive when they take their children to their first day of school.

For gays, lesbians and transgender parents, the fear can be even more overpowering.

"We're probably all scared to send our kids to school," said Holly, whose 6-year-old is preparing to enter first grade.

Holly and her life partner, Susan, were among those attending a roundtable discussion Thursday night for parents, school administrators, counselors and teachers.

The meeting addressed the concerns of gays and lesbians who worry that their children could become targets of harassment because of their parents' sexual orientation.

Susan represented We Are Family, which along with the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network of Southern Nevada, sponsored the discussion.

She said her organization has roughly 200 families in Southern Nevada who are members, but she added, "There are probably many more out there."

Theo Small, co-chairman of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, explained the necessity of holding the roundtable, which met at the Nevada State Education Association office at Pecos Road and Harmon Avenue.

"A lot of parents are apprehensive when kids who were toddlers start entering school," Small said. "We're here for the school community to make sure everyone is valued regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity."

Each administrator and counselor advised the 30 people attending how to fill out school registration forms and calmed parental anxieties. They also urged parents from non-traditional families to inform their children's teachers and principals.

Terri Robertson, who has worked in school offices all over the valley, made it clear that every child is welcome as soon as they step through the door.

"It doesn't matter the skin color or anything else," Robertson said.

The school district needs to put a counselor in every elementary and high school, but that takes funding, Robertson said. Instead, parents, teachers and administrators working together can ease children's fears of going to school.

Children accept their diversified classmates, said Andrea Klafter-Phillips, principal of Steve Cozine Elementary School. If there is a problem, counselors go into the classroom and explain what diversity means and explain that name-calling, bullying and discrimination are not allowed.

If that doesn't work, an unruly pupil can be suspended or expelled if harassment continues.

Anne Grisholm, principal of Sandy Miller Academy, said that as the Las Vegas Valley continues to grow the schools will become more open to the variety of family makeup.

"The front offices need to be warm and accepting of all our families," Grisholm said.

The Clark County School District has zero tolerance for any form of discrimination or harassment, the district's counsel, Bill Hoffman, said in an e-mail.

"The Nevada State Education Association is proud to say every student and every family has value," said NSEA Board President Terry Hickman.

However, playground epithets and bullying continue out of eye and earshot of teachers and principals, those attending the session said.

Assemblyman David Parks, D-Las Vegas, said it took him three legislative sessions to pass Assembly Bill 202 that defines harassment and intimidation, tells the state Department of Education and the school districts statewide to have a policy in place against sex discrimination.

Each public school handles infractions from a talk with the student to suspension, but the legislation cannot control private schools, Parks said.

Another parent at the meeting described how he noticed when his 6-year-old son became too quiet or his behavior changed at home because he was too afraid to tell anyone what had happened at a local private school.

"One day he came home and asked us, 'Is my mommy in heaven?' " the father said. "We had never discussed it."

He said he went to the school and worked with the principal to solve the matter, which ended with the dismissal of the teacher.

"That's when I go in there and fix the problem," he said. "It's not a gay activist moment, it's a dad moment."

Grisholm advised parents to teach their children if they are harassed how to go and talk to an adult.

"If the harassment behavior continues, parents need to alert the principal," Grisholm said.

At the end of the discussion, Holly said she felt more comfortable sending her daughter to first grade two weeks from Monday.

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