Columnist Susan Snyder: Ruling leads to mascot hysteria

Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005 | 8:19 a.m.

Never understood why a college athletic team would want to be called the Chippewas.

Historically, the Chippewas lost, as did the Utes, Seminoles and Fighting Sioux.

Sure, they put up a good fight and won a few matches, but they all eventually lost the big game -- land, language, culture.

No time-outs. Only sudden death overtime.

The NCAA announced Friday it would ban from its postseason events the use of American Indian nicknames and imagery by 18 colleges and universities (you can see which schools are affected by logging onto www.ncaa.org and looking for the press release dated Aug. 5).

It sparked an old debate full of the same tired old rants. A sports columnist in San Francisco suggested the ban opens the door to Alcoholics Anonymous calling for an end to the Boilermakers and the Weather Channel getting huffy over Hurricanes.

(I figure if I were a student at Baltimore's Goucher College and PETA wanted to step in and saved me another year of being a Gopher, it would be OK.)

The writer was kidding, of course. But, how sad. We're still mocking these people, their symbols and their concerns.

And you'd think those obsessed with tradition and power would pick names of groups that traditionally won -- or at least choose something closer to representing reality.

Why not adopt names such as the Anabolic Steroids, the THuGs, Felons or maybe the Free Hummers?

Come to think of it, the NCAA ban probably isn't broad enough. It also should nix the nicknames so stupid no athlete should have to wear them.

Let's ditch the Banana Slugs, of the University of California-Santa Cruz, and the Hokies of Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (and make the school's name longer, while we're at it).

Let's also dispense with the University of California-Irvine Anteaters, the Armadillos of Our Lady of the Lake University in Texas and Washington state's Evergreen State College Geoducks -- pronounced "GOO-ee-ducks" (as if that somehow helps).

Since we're so culturally attached to naming teams for losers, why not use the "Nazis?" Maybe we're only comfortable using the names of people we conquered because they trusted us.

Florida State's president T.K. Wetherell told the Associated Press that banning his school from displaying its Seminoles nickname forces them to act as though they are ashamed.

We all should be ashamed -- of trivializing these people with sports team monikers, one-sided historical accounts, broken promises and the systematic obliteration of cultures, languages, families and dignity.

The few names and symbols that survived this homeland holocaust shouldn't be emblazoned on the sweaty backside of some kid going for three from mid-court.

Braves, Indians, Savages, Chippewas, Seminoles, Utes, Redmen, Illini, Choctaws, Sioux.

The English language has so many words. We could easily find 10 new ones.

And while we're at it, let's sink the Super Bees. Honestly, is there no dignity in sports anymore?