Columnist Susan Snyder: Car issues are open for rebate

Tuesday, Aug. 2, 2005 | 8:15 a.m.

So, what are you going to do with your rebate?

For those immersed in high-profile issues such as terrorist bombings in London, starvation in Africa and the ongoing scandal behind ABC's "Dancing With the Stars," the Nevada Department of Motor Vehicles is going to send rebates of $75 to $275 to those who registered vehicles in Nevada last year.

Apparently the amount of the rebate will depend on how much it cost to register your car and how much it was worth.

Figures. I just unloaded -- er, traded -- the Little Car of Horrors and obtained a new vehicle the rebate for which would, if based on this year's registrations, pay for a plane ticket to Florida for Thanksgiving.

But nooooooo. The 2001 Ford "Artificial Reef Program" Focus I coddled through seven recalls, will again get the last word. It's as if maxing out my free emergency roadside calls from AAA two years in a row wasn't enough.

Now, the only thing I did gain in the deal -- a low registration fee -- will mean nothing. Based on what that bucket of plastic was worth, I should receive enough money to pay for two tanks of gasoline for the new car-truck thing I bought.

Ask not how the state can have $300 million in surplus money and at the same time be forced to import schoolteachers from the Philippines.

Instead, focus on the positive. Take some time to daydream over a nice cup of coffee about how you'll spend the rebate.

Take time to enjoy the imagery. Maybe some new shoes or a nice dinner or a plane ticket for a weekend getaway.

Then, come back to reality and clean up whatever the dog just urped on the carpet. The vet bill for whatever caused the pup's discomfort will look like that of Michael Jackson's last trip to the Forum Shops.

When the law of the land says we get money back, the laws of nature say it shall not be so. We all know what happens to the rebates, tax returns and other money that the government treats as a windfall though it belonged to us in the first place.

The brake pads go out on all four wheels at once, or you hit a big chunk of something on the interstate and need a new set of tires.

You get your first cavity in 30 years and need a new crown. Or your kid suddenly looks as though he could eat his next Happy Meal through a fence.

The garbage disposal quits. The air conditioner's compressor goes kaput. The pump in the pool gurgles like drowning man.

These are things that do not happen unless a pet, teenager or other inanimate object gets wind of a windfall.

Still, as we ponder the manicure or power tool that is not to be, state officials are looking for a way out of the rebate hole they managed to excavate.

See, residents aged 65 and older who have state identification cards but didn't register a vehicle will receive the minimum of $75. However, lawmakers inadvertently didn't include the non-vehicle owners in that age group who merely have driver's licenses.

For them, there will be no rebate.

And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure which is worse.

Is it better to have rebated and lost than to never have rebated at all?