Thursday, April 14, 2005 | 1:26 a.m.
Things to leave home from summer camp:
Spinach. Your MP3 player. The books you were supposed to "read over the summer."
And, your parents -- unless they have succumbed to an emerging trend and want to go with you.
According to the American Camp Association, the number of places offering a "family camp" experience has increased 154 percent over the past decade.
And we thought the price of gasoline was the most frightening aspect of summer vacation travel. If my family had been sent to camp as a unit, there would have been tantrums and sobbing.
And that's just from my mother.
It would seem the point of going to camp is twofold:
First, kids get away from clean underwear and their parents.
Second, parents get away from piles of dirty underwear and their kids.
It's not forever. It's only for a week or two. And it's a good system that didn't need fixing.
But apparently, there is a fair number of overworked parents who need to go to camp. They want to sleep in cabins, swim in the lake, braid leather and take nature walks.
Sounds great, but where's the mini-bar? If my family was forced to travel together for more than two days, Dad packed one.
As a youth in Indiana, I attended band camp. This nightmarish boot camp for marching bands was developed during the 1970s, when Hoosiers' hysteria over band competitions was second only to their hysteria over basketball.
We marched but also swam, canoed and abused the younger campers at night. You know, "summer camp."
If parents had been there, Susie Rawlings and I would not have learned that we could share a toothbrush for an entire week without any ill effects.
We would not have discovered that egg noodles, which have wrapped in a bandana and soaked in the creek all day, have a hilarious effect when shoved to the bottom of a freshman's sleeping bag.
An impromptu discussion of leeches at dinner only added to the event.
After two weeks we were glad to see our parents -- a wonderful thing in a teenager. (The band director was a little edgy the rest of the summer, however.)
But today's activity-rich, time-poor families don't want vacations. They crave "quality time."
Families interacted better before "quality time." Kids had friends. Kids had parents. And they didn't have to be the same people for it all to work out.
Quality time is learning that wearing the same socks every day makes your feet itch. It's being afraid of the dark and getting over it with your new best friend.
It's missing Mom, learning to get over that too, and having a few adventures to boot.
The American Camp Association people say family camp is fueled by parents who want to re-capture their youth.
Seems they could find some way to do that without hovering and stealing it from their children.
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