D’Andrea gets his 15 minutes in ‘Skintight’

Friday, Nov. 26, 2004 | 8:52 a.m.

In a roomful of half-naked women, Tony D'Andrea shines.

The 62-year-old comedian is a featured attraction in Greg Thompson's "Skintight," the topless revue at Harrah's.

During his almost 30 years in the business Thompson has performed with some of the top entertainers in the country, opening for Tom Jones for four years, for Ray Charles for two years, for David Copperfield, and for many others.

His many friends include Vegas comedians Sandy Hackett (Greek Isles) and George Wallace (Flamingo Las Vegas). He and Jerry Seinfeld have been pals since both were fledgling comics in New York.

But it is the troupe of topless women that has gotten him the national recognition he deserves.

In 2002 cable channel E! ran the documentary "Las Vegas Showgirls: Nearly Famous," and in 2003 aired a follow-up, "Las Vegas Showgirls: Nearly Famous 2."

Included in the series, which frequently is rerun, is a segment on "Skintight."

D'Andrea is highly visible among the half-naked women.

And if you want to see him perform, you'll have to do it soon or wait several months.

"Skintight" is going to be dark Wednesday through Dec. 24 (and also on Dec. 31).

D'Andrea has lined up some engagements on a cruise ship and won't return to the show until sometime after the first of the year.

"I thought the biggest miracle in the Bible was when Jesus took seven loaves of bread and four fish and fed an entire congregation," he says, delivering one quick joke after another, each rarely being connected to the other. "And then I flew Southwest Airlines.

"The flight attendant took one can of Coke Classic and filled up 44 cups."

D'Andrea's act comes about midway through the 70-minute production, It only lasts about 15 minutes, but with his years of experience opening for others he is adept at getting in, making the most of his brief time in the spotlight and then getting out quickly.

It's a shame he doesn't have time to more fully develop his routine.

D'Andrea can be hilarious.

"I was out of the country last year for a couple of months -- in Alabama," he said. "Did you know that in Alabama a (expletive deleted)-load is a unit of measure? Like, in a (expletive deleted)-load of lumber."

Some of his jokes are a little dated.

"Viagra," he said, and you know what's coming. "The warning label says if you have an erection for longer than four hours, you should call your doctor.

"If I have an erection that lasts longer than four hours the doctor is the last person I'm going to call. I'm going to call everyone I have ever known."

D'Andrea has always wanted to be a comedian, dating to his days as a teenager in the Marine Corps in the early '60s. He entered a showcase contest (and won the comedy division) just to get out of guard duty.

In the '70s he was a bartender at Comic Strip Live, a popular comedy nightclub in New York City. George Carlin saw him perform there and told him he was wasting his time in New York and to look him up if he ever made it to California.

D'Andrea threw himself a benefit to raise enough money to make the trip. Seinfeld and Paul Reiser were among the comedians to donate their time for the fundraiser.

When D'Andrea arrived in Los Angeles, Carlin was guest-hosting "The Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson. But Carlin wouldn't put him on the show -- D'Andrea didn't yet have a full act.

But since that disappointment, D'Andrea has mastered his craft.

"I'm taking Rogaine with Viagra," D'Andrea says to the audience. "Now I can't keep my hair down."

He delivers his one-liners quickly, hesitating occasionally to heckle fans.

"Nice shirt, how'd you get the numbers off?" he says to someone in the audience.

"You know when you're getting older. You have more hair growing out the top of your ears than the top of your head."

"Viagra is like Disneyland -- a two-hour wait for a five-minute ride."

"They've got slot machines in this town in Burger King. One day I had a whopper and fries -- it cost me $400. 'Hey, will you hurry up with that burger?' "

D'Andrea is an excellent impressionist, especially in his Jack Nicholson and Charles Bronson bits. He manages to look like both of them. He's also very inventive. Among his routines is one in which he combines John Wayne and Michael Jackson.

Rodney Dangerfield, who died in October, was among D'Andrea's friends. Perhaps D'Andrea's best tribute to Dangerfield is to keep Dangerfield's jokes alive.

"I went to the doctor and he said I was crazy," D'Andrea said in his best Dangerfield voice. "I said I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'OK, you're ugly, too.' "

"I was an ugly child. When I was playing in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up."

"I can't take it anymore. I stopped at a sign that said, 'Pedestrian Crossing.' I waited an hour, and the guy never showed up."

"I say to my wife with the wooden leg, Peg ..."

D'Andrea crams a lot of humor into his 15 minutes in the spotlight.

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