Columnist Ron Kantowski: Rattlers play double-secret proposition

Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2004 | 10:13 a.m.

Ron Kantowski is a Las Vegas Sun sports writer. Reach him at ron@lasvegassun.com or (702) 259-4088.

Question: If a former UNLV Rebel slam dunks and there's nobody there to see it, does it still count two points?

Answer: Yes. Unless it happens at the buzzer. Then it apparently counts four points.

Former UNLV Rebels Lou Kelly and Dalron Johnson combined for 53 points -- at least according to a published report -- to lead the Las Vegas Rattlers to a 100-90 victory against the Ontario (Calif.) Warriors in their 2004-05 ABA debut at Las Vegas Sportspark Friday night.

Kelly scored 28 points, including a shot at one of the buzzers that was worth four points -- again, according to a published report. I tried to call the Rattlers for confirmation but directory assistance said it never heard of them. And nobody answered at the last phone number I had for Rattlers GM Roy Hammond.

If this latest reincarnation of the ABA is serious about playing its entire 36-game schedule, Spencer Haywood, one of the stars of the original and real ABA, apparently will serve as Rattlers coach.

The only other information I was able to glean about the team from the official ABA Web site is that the Rattlers' official Web site is "coming soon." But I did come across a statement from ABA commissioner Joe Newman regarding Friday's Pacers-Pistons basketbrawl in Detroit.

"The real problems in the world today include Iraq, terrorism, the Middle East, nuclear buildups in Iran and North Korea, the Sudan, AIDS, hunger, health care, etc," Newman wrote. "Problems with teams and fans in professional sports are not among the real problems facing us."

Well, Newman can say that because to have a problem with teams and fans, you must first have some of the latter.

The crowd -- er, get together -- at Friday's Rattlers game was estimated at 200.

In the immediate aftermath of the near riot in Detroit, ESPN's NBA analysts, including former Rebel Greg Anthony, said the Pacers were justified going into the crowd to retaliate when a fan threw a cup at Indiana's troubled Ron Artest.

By Sunday, after they had witnessed the ugly episode for the umpteenth time thanks to their employer's prurient interests, Anthony and the others pretty much backed off their original assessments.

That's good, because for a moment I feared that like the participants, they had lost their minds, too.

While it's easy to crack wise on a league that appears to have been drawn up on a cocktail napkin during Happy Hour, at least the ABA has come up with my new favorite minor league franchise, supplanting the ECHL's Macon Whoopee:

The Reigning Knights of Georgia. Brook Benton would be proud.

Another personal favorite is the Oklahoma City Ballhawgs. Which, come to think, should be the team for which Dalron Johnson and Lou Kelly play, considering neither met a shot he didn't like. Or take.

Rebels fans can only hope that athletic director Mike Hamrick does a better job of hiring a football coach here than he did at East Carolina, and interviewing Utah offensive coordinator Mike Sanford for the post, which Hamrick did Monday, seems a good start.

Hamrick's choice at ECU didn't turn out so well. He fired popular Steve Logan to bring in one of those coordinators from a big-time program that always seems to have first right of refusal when it comes to head coaching vacancies at mid-major schools. John Thompson, who had been defensive coordinator at Florida, didn't pan out so well, going 3-19 in two seasons before being fired by new ECU athletic director Terry Holland last week.

Good news, Las Vegas bar and lounge owners. New Mexico's 16-9 victory against Wyoming in Albuquerque Saturday was so uninspiring that the Cowboys may have played themselves back into Las Vegas Bowl consideration with a competitive loss.

Before last week's game, LV Bowl executive director Tina Kunzer-Murphy said it would difficult to bypass a 7-4 New Mexico team that had won five consecutive games to become bowl eligible for a 6-5 Wyoming bunch that had closed the regular season with two losses -- even though the Lobos have played in the game two years running.

Now, there seems to be momentum building for the Cowboys. A source close to the committee said Wyoming has been aggressive in stating its desire to return to Las Vegas, where the bars never close.

Given the sorry state of the BCS and that the Pac-10 may not have enough bowl eligible teams fulfill its commitment to the LV Bowl, it's almost impossible to predict who the Cowboys or Lobos will play on Dec. 23.

But it won't be Clemson.

The Tigers had been mentioned as a LV Bowl possibility but won't be coming here (or anywhere) after Saturday's nasty brawl with arch-rival South Carolina, according to self-imposed sanctions announced Monday.

It would appear UNLV is developing a new baseball tradition to replace the 335 Club, the unofficial group of Rebels fans/Budweiser drinkers who were basically run off from their long-standing perch at Wilson Stadium -- the back of a pickup truck adjacent to the left-field foul pole. That happened a couple of years ago when former coach Jim Schlossnagle insisted they buy a ticket like everybody else.

But if the 335 Club wants to reorganize, I'm sure current Rebels coach Buddy Gouldsmith would be willing to let bygones be bygones. And if the 335 Club did come back, it would have a chance to cheer for some recruits with familiar names.

The Rebels last week signed Michael Brenly and Kelby Aase, the sons of former major leaguers Bob Brenly and Don Aase. They will be the third and fourth offspring of ex-big-leaguers to play for the Rebels, following Jason Reuss (son of Jerry) in 2000 and Fernando Valenzuela Jr. (son of you-know-who) in 2003.

This is recruiting strategy that make sense. But having said that, if Wally Backman has a kid that is college baseball age, perhaps the Rebels should just let Nevada-Reno have him.

There's a certain auto racing writer at a certain morning newspaper in town -- OK, Jeff Wolf at the Review-Journal -- who promised in a column in January that he would "crawl on hands and knees down the quarter-mile dragstrip" at Las Vegas Motor Speedway if native son Brendan Gaughan didn't win this year's NASCAR rookie of the year award or win a race.

I just wanted my pal to know that I still may have the knee pads I used during my sixth-grade CYO basketball days if he's sincere about keeping his promise.

There used to be a TV commercial that showed a slightly overweight "beauty" queen from some small red state town riding on the back of a Corvette in a parade at about 10 mph, and the car's owner muttering something about that scenario being wrong on so many counts.

That's the same thing I thought when I spotted the following story on the sports wire Monday.

For starters, any story slugged DARTS UNIFICATION automatically piques my interest. But this was no ordinary darts unification story. It was the first pay-per-view darts match in England in which 11-time world champion Phil "The Power" Taylor was declared the winner when opponent Andy "The Viking" Fordham withdraw because of exhaustion and dehydration.

A pay-per-view darts match that is called due to fatigue?

I guess this is what happens when Manchester United takes a day off.