Friday, Nov. 5, 2004 | 4:11 a.m.
Susan Snyder's column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursday and Sundays. Reach her at [email protected] or (702) 259-4082.
WEEKEND EDITION
November 6 - 7, 2004
Why can't we all just get along?
Too many bumper stickers, buttons and Internet video spoofs are a few reasons. Buttons can go into a drawer. But it's harder to hide that "Someone less dumb for president" sticker on the rear window of your car, now that someone won the election.
However, experts say the real reason post-election rifts are hard to mend is that we don't listen to each other, according to a story in The Coloradoan newspaper of Fort Collins.
Psychologists quoted in the article gave some tips for how to gloss over the fact that folks who voted blue are seeing red, and folks who voted red are chanting, "Neener, neener" under their collective breaths (except on Sundays).
One counselor said to practice listening by asking other people their views, then listening without interrupting.
Choking, gagging and harrumphing might all be construed as not paying attention. So try to keep your mouth closed and your eyes open while the other person prattles on about his or her misguided position. (Blinking now and then will help give the appearance that you care -- or are at least conscious.)
A second tip is to "stay calm."
Valium.
A third tip: "Find common ground."
Now, one interpretation is that if you beat each other about the head with the rubber squeegees you were using to remove offensive bumper stickers, the parking lot on which you both are standing is ground you have in common -- especially when both of you are plucking its gravel from your knees.
However, that would not seem to be the sentiment here. The idea is to explore each other's political beliefs and overall goals (this would involve that "listening" thing) and finding something on which you both agree.
"You're a fink" is not among the choices listed. But if it's all you have, I'm thinking you should go with it.
Of course, we can't forget trying the old agree-to-disagree stalemate, where nobody stands for anything so we can all sit down. This typically entails holding hands and smiling while quietly humming,"Kum-bay-this, Bonehead."
Another tip is we must understand we can only be responsible for making up our own minds. It is "unkind and unwise," The Coloradoan article says, to think you can control another's vote.
True. You can't pound the right decision into the minds of morons. At the very least, you will be caught and prosecuted (unless you are driving a car in Clark County and manage to strafe your opponent as he is walking across the street).
The experts also say we should realize that our relationships with these thick-headed people are more important than our politics.
Phlthbbb.
You can make other friends on the Internet. Just be sure to only meet them in public places.
Finally, the experts suggest we "stop demonizing" those who don't share our beliefs. This seems a bit of an overreaction, as we aren't calling these people with whom we don't agree "demons."
They are simply wrong.
Anyway, in order for this approach to work, we must "end the name-calling, verbal attacks and righteous judgments," the article says.
Not sure that would work at all.
Seems it would effectively end the entire U.S. election process.
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