Columnist Lisa Ferguson: Sun Lite for May 3, 2004

Lisa Ferguson

Monday, May 3, 2004 | 10:05 a.m.

Take her word for it

Let's cut to the chase, people: You have just six days to locate and purchase the perfect Mother's Day gift.

All we can say is, it had better be a good one given that you'll be honoring the woman who somehow mustered the inner strength to see you safely through a slew of runny, drippy childhood illnesses; a ridiculous number of trivial teenage catastrophes; and some really poor "grown-up" decisions.

Let Mom know that at least some of her sage advice sunk in by presenting her with a copy of "Mama Says ... When a Wolf Is Chasing You, Throw Him a Biscuit But Don't Stop to Bake Him a Cake" (L.A.C. Communications Inc., $18.95), a new tome by author Maria L. Valdemi that features a couple hundred such sayings from and short stories about mothers from around the globe. Guess the ethnicity of the mothers who delivered these oddly phrased, common-sense gems:

Valdemi began work on her book last Mother's Day in an effort to preserve her late mother's memory. Have a snippet of your mama's everyday wisdom worth sharing? Visit www.mama-says.com and submit a story.

A star's kid is born

What sort of advice do you suppose celebrity mothers spoon-feed to their offspring? One can only imagine:

"The grass is always greener ... on the set of a multimillion-dollar movie, as opposed to one of those low-budget, independent films."

"If you aren't careful, your face will freeze like that ... and you'll undoubtedly end up in the tabloids."

"Don't talk to strangers ... without your agent present."

"When life hands you lemons ... give 'em to the nanny and tell her to get cracking on the lemonade."

Seriously, though, this year's crop of Hollywood moms -- Kate Hudson, Brooke Shields, Mary Louise Parker, Debra Messing and Denise Richards among them -- are probably just as overwhelmed by their new roles as are most unfamous, rookie moms.

The high-profile mommies above were each recently presented with a customized "Jet Set" diaper bag from designer Stephanie Lin's Shih line, which was brimming with pricey goodies for indulging themselves and their bundles of joy. Among the items were a BriteSmiles' teeth-whitening gift certificate; nail polishes and "firming massage" facial gel from London designer Mary Quant's line of products; hand-dyed, custom-embroidered infant "onesies" by New York designer Melissa Hinkley; and an eyebrow-shaping/make-up application session with Hollywood make-up artist Danielle Decker.

Can't afford to shower your favorite spit-up-crusted, strained-peas-splattered, sleep-deprived new mom with such luxury trinkets (and, honestly, who can)? Consider breaking the bank on the diaper bag. It's available -- sans the motherlode of gifts, of course -- in pink, blue and black for the, um, bargain-basement price of $149 at www.pinkmascara.com.