Comedian leaves no Poundstone unturned

Monday, March 8, 2004 | 8:20 a.m.

Almost three years have passed since Poundstone made headlines for her offstage behavior rather than the irreverent, left-of-center humor that has been her trademark for more than 25 years.

The initial allegations included sexual abuse of one of her foster children, a charge that proved to be false. She is also recovering from alcoholism.

"I was in a 30-day rehab program for 180 days," Poundstone quipped, not shying away from the troubles that some thought might end her career.

Although that career may not be at the height Poundstone enjoyed before she lost her two foster children, had three adopted children temporarily taken away and was placed on five years probation, she is able to at least make a living performing on tours.

Poundstone, her brown hair cut straight and almost at shoulder length, was dressed in her familiar nonsexual wardrobe -- a fox hunter's jacket (bright red with black collar); a black-and-red striped shirt; a man's tie embossed with pictures of dalmations; baggy, black striped pants and black shoes with white insteps.

"I'm not a sexual creature. I don't know how you do it. I don't even know when you do it," she said, noting that her busy work schedule and raising three children keeps her exhausted. "I can't think of any activity I like more when I go to bed than sleeping."

The 44-year-old Los Angeles resident slouched as she paced from one side of the stage to the other, stopping occasionally to sip a diet soda or to sit on a stool. Once she laid on her back, put her legs in the air and performed a puppet show with her feet.

As she rambled, there were frequent asides and exploring of tangents when something unexpected caught her attention.

"You're a pawn broker?" she asked a fan. "Have you seen the movie starring Rod Steiger?

"I'm flat broke. I don't think I have anything to pawn."

Her comedy leapfrogged from topic to topic, sometimes returning to the same topic and then going off in a completely different direction.

"I picked up my 5-year-old ... at school, he was in pre-school," she said. "With great sincerity he said to his older sister, 'Today we ate square crackers and celebrated the holiday of pass out.'

"It was all I could do not to tell him Mommy used to celebrate pass out. I don't know if you heard. It was kept kind of hush-hush."

She then discussed her drinking problem, which she says is now under control. One of her treatments was attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, which was ordered by the court.

"I firmly believe it's unconstitutional for the court to send anyone to AA," Poundstone said. "It's a 12-step program and the third step is that you turn your life over to God.

"Isn't there a little thing called separation of church and state? Someone said it doesn't have to be God. It can be the ocean, so I guess the alcoholics in Nevada are (expletive deleted)."

Besides, she said, she's an atheist.

"I know it upsets a lot of people when I say that," Poundstone said. "But let me comfort you with this fact: We atheists have no mandate to convert anybody. You're never going to find me on your doorstep on a Saturday morning."

A major part of her show is repartee with fans, zeroing in on members of the audience, finding out a little about them and then creating an improvised mini-routine on the spot.

Some of her routines were too long, such as one in which she singled out a captain and an evidence custodian with the Metro Police, and another in which she criticized media coverage of the Iraq war.

Some were not particularly funny.

"Did you guys notice on the slot machines they have 'That Girl' and 'I Dream of Jeannie'?" Poundstone said. "They're not even on 'Nick at Night,' are they?

"They're marketing those slots to my specific generation. I do think about those shows. I just don't bring them up in conversation."

Poundstone took on a wide variety of issues and topics, from gay marriages ("Everyone deserves to get married if they want to, but why the hell anyone would want to, I don't get that.") to golf ("I hate golf. I'm happy as a clam to see Tiger Woods break the color barrier, but I'm sorry to see another race get sucked into such a stupid game.").

But her favorite subjects were her children and family life.

"An animal trainer came out to help train our vicious cat-eating dog," Poundstone said. "The trainer said don't tell the dog four times to do something, otherwise you're just teaching him to ignore you. I said wait till you meet the kids."

"My kids are out of control," she said. "I have a 13-year-old, a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old. I just showed them the movie 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos's Nest.' I said, 'Mommy seems good now, doesn't she?'

"Against that backdrop, I really shine."