Columnist Lisa Ferguson: Sun Lite for March 8, 2004

Lisa Ferguson

Monday, March 8, 2004 | 8:14 a.m.

No bones about it

Lllllet's get ready to bicker!

It's an old-fashioned battle of the sexes this week, as a national-chain restaurant and a drug manufacturer pit men against women in efforts to promote their respective products.

If you figured Mel Gibson was the only one serving up a super-sized slab of biblical history to the masses these days, guess again: Tony Roma's recently released the results of a nationwide survey it conducted last month (of more than 9,500 members of its customer Loyalty Club) to gauge Americans' understanding of human anatomy, pegged to the story of Adam and Eve, and conclude whether people actually believe men have one less rib than women.

A valid question, certainly. But we must point out that it was posed by a joint famous for its barbecued-rib entrees. Comes across as a wee bit creepy, don't you think?

Bad taste aside, the findings suggest a good many people likely flunked high school health class, seeing as how it's a fact that the average man and woman both have 12 pairs of ribs. While 53 percent of those polled (both male and female) supplied the correct "No" answer, a whopping 47 percent responded that men's rib racks are one short.

It's even less reassuring to learn some of these same folks have no idea what they're eating. When asked, "What meat is typically used to make BBQ Baby Back Ribs?" 12 percent of men and 16 percent of women figured it was beef. Pork was the correct answer given by 88 percent of guys versus 84 percent of gals. As long as it's oozing in special sauce, apparently it's all good.

Bye-bye love

We had hoped the highly publicized meltdown of Barbie and Ken would prove to be an amicable split once they divided up all those hot-pink, battery-operated assets and paid their high-priced Malibu lawyers, of course.

It hasn't even been a month since toy-maker Mattel announced the longtime love interests were no more, but already fingers are pointing in attempts to determine who is at fault for the relationship's demise. Over at QualiLife Pharmaceuticals, in Charleston, S.C., they're betting 43-year-old Barbie is to blame.

The company, which makes the "female arousal fluid" Zestra for Women, quotes Martin Crosby, a sexual medicine researcher and pharmaceutical scientist, as saying, "After so many years, some relationships can become a bit dry and often the fireworks are gone." Meanwhile, the QualiLife experts report it's not uncommon for women around Barbie's age to "experience a loss of sexual pleasure and satisfaction," and add that surprise! a dose of its product may have helped reignite some romantic sparks between Barbie and Ken.

So, once again, we're supposed to believe it's the aging woman's fault. Gee, it couldn't possibly have had anything to do with the fact that Barbie is exhausted after four decades spent nurturing a multitude of careers to keep that Corvette in the driveway of that fancy Dream House, could it? Heck, in '97 alone she was both a dentist and a paleontologist! Ex-cuuuse her for not dropping everything when Ken made booty calls.

Forget about finding a new man, Barbie: Skip the love potion and spend what little energy you have left enjoying some much-deserved time to yourself.