Friday, Feb. 6, 2004 | 9:34 a.m.
While we non-millionaire earthlings valiantly struggle just to make ends meet, we are relieved to learn that President George W. Bush has brilliantly devised another "original" idea only costing a mere trillion or so taxpayer dollars -- sending guys to Mars. This is a concept straight from numerous 1950s movies.
Before this latest idiocy, intelligent, informed Americans had thought that nothing could cause more helpless laughter than Bush's Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge proudly whipping out his scare-tactic terror color thing before every major holiday, telling us that we are about to be annihilated. And then saying, "But just go about your business as usual and ignore the whole thing."
Suppose the entire devious Bush administration itself was to blast off to Mars? Americans would again have honest, competent, duly elected patriotic leaders in our White House. Our courageous troops would be brought home before any more are maimed for life or killed in the "all about oil" debacle in faraway Iraq, a country having nothing to do with Sept. 11.
Social Security, Medicare, unemployment, veterans benefits and our lost freedoms would be restored. Our most important allies alienated by Bush's insults would again be our valued best friends. And Americans would regain the peace, prosperity and respect we enjoyed before the 2000 stolen election.
RUTH DIMAGGIO
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