Thursday, Dec. 23, 2004 | 11:05 a.m.
Paula Carter's 4-year-old daughter Katlyn won't get what she wants most for Christmas -- to have her father home.
The best Paula and Katlyn can hope for is a phone call from Spc. Charles Spear, who is spending the holidays in Iraq with the Henderson-based 1864th Transportation Co.
"We're going to have a subdued Christmas this year," said Carter, who is engaged to Spear. "It will be a lot smaller than usual. We're going to get up and take a lot of pictures to send to Katlyn's daddy."
Carter and her daughter are an example of the hundreds of Nevada families that are having to deal with the reality of loved ones serving overseas and the emotional, financial and day-to-day hardships that come with that.
Spear is one of about 160 citizen soldiers with the Nevada Army Guard's 1864th Transportation Co. sent to Iraq last summer to truck supplies and equipment across the desert during an 18-month deployment.
Kimberly Irenze, who heads up the 1864th's family support services and has a husband and brother-in-law serving with the 1864th, said that families are still adjusting to having spouses and family members deployed, and that the holidays can be a tough time.
"We all try to support each other, and the community has been wonderful, but sometimes it's hard," Irenze said. "There are so many things that need to be taken care of that maybe your husband did in the past."
Paying bills, fixing problems around the house, even changing tires can become a problem that needs to be dealt with, said Tuesday Perkins, whose husband is with the 1864th.
"It never fails that once your husband is gone everything seems to break," said Perkins, who had to buy a new refrigerator when the old one went on the fritz. "We've had sprinklers break and spray our drywall. That had to be replaced, but luckily we've had friends who were able to come help us."
Irenze estimates that about 25 1864th families have faced significant financial impacts due to a spouse being deployed. Carter said that her fiance's deployment has cut her family's income by about a third and forced her to sell one of their two cars.
"We just couldn't afford the payments on the second car, when there are other bills, child care and food to buy," said Carter, who works as a casino cage manager. "Right now we are living paycheck to paycheck, so you go without some of the extra things you don't need."
Carter's fiance, Spear, worked as a casino floor person in slots, but makes less money as a soldier in Iraq. Soldiers are paid based on their ranks and the amount of time they have served, and for some this can mean a drastic cut in pay.
"You do what you have to do," Carter said. "You're just trying to survive."
Carter said she tries to immerse herself in the daily rhythms of her job and her life with Katlyn.
"As an adult it's a little easier to put my feelings aside, but it has affected my daughter dramatically," Carter said. "Her dad always went out of the way to talk to her and play with her, and she misses him. Sometimes she cries."
Phone calls from Spear and little trinkets he sends back to his daughter from Iraq, such as a necklace, bathrobe and Winnie the Pooh blanket, also help. When she really misses her father, Carter plays a videotaped message recorded by Spear at the Henderson Armory before he deployed.
Phone calls are a savior for Perkins as well. She is always by her phone in the late mornings and early afternoons when her husband, Sgt. 1st Class Kelwin Perkins, usually finds time to call.
"He usually has just a minute or two to talk, but it's enough," Tuesday Perkins said of her husband, who leads one of the 1864th's platoons. "I can hear his voice and he tells me he and his men are safe, and I tell him we're all safe at home."
Perkins and other family members of deployed soldiers said that the short phone calls usually don't include talk of the dangerous work being done in Iraq.
"I think most of us really don't want to know all the details about what they are doing over there," Perkins said. "Our peace of mind comes from just hearing they are OK.
"There is always that worry that you're going to get the knock on the door, but you try not to think about it. If you do you can go bonkers."
The holiday spirit is something that Perkins has had a hard time finding with her husband overseas, but her three children, ages 18, 21 and 22, talked her into putting up a Christmas tree.
"We all miss him so much, but we're proud of what he and all the other soldiers are doing," Perkins said. "There is a lot of sacrifice on all sides, but when this is all over I think we'll be able to see the fruits of these labors."
Perkins and Carter each are hoping that their spouses will be granted a week of leave next summer for some important events. Perkins is hoping for a July visit to celebrate her 24th wedding anniversary, while Carter is hoping for a week in July to get married to Spear.
Perkins has made up calendars featuring pictures of the members of the 1864th and small boxes for each day they are gone, allowing families to keep track of their loved ones. She said that every day is just another day without her husband until he returns, even if that day is Christmas.
"It kind of feels like you are moving forward when you can mark a day off the calendar," Perkins said. "I just keep marking the days off and moving another day closer to him coming back."
archive
