Hotlines, help groups can aid depressed during holiday season

Eric Leake

Friday, Dec. 17, 2004 | 3:58 a.m.

WEEKEND EDITION

December 18 - 19, 2004

Numbers for help:

Suicide Prevention Center: 731-2990

Emotions Anonymous: 221-0744

Dreaming of ones they used to know leaves some people with not a white but a blue Christmas.

Frank, a member of Emotions Anonymous, has listened to many tales of holiday dreams unfulfilled and feelings of aloneness.

"I think that for a lot of people, they are reminded of how it was when they were younger growing up and they want to reproduce some of that," Frank said.

"Some are successful and lots of us aren't because that's a big expectation to get back to where we were younger and carefree, I guess," he said.

Frank is a 60-year-old computer draftsman. He helps coordinate the support group's weekly meetings and has been a member of Emotions Anonymous since 1989 after a bout with depression put him in the hospital. He hasn't been readmitted for the same troubles since.

"I know it's hard for people," he said. "It can be frightening."

People coping with the loss of a family member can find the holidays especially troubling, said James Bass, who has a doctorate in psychology and practices at A Hope in New Beginnings clinic in northeast Las Vegas.

"The family uses that holiday as a group and there's a member of that group missing; therefore, there's that emptiness," he said.

Bass said some people may fight against feelings of emptiness by keeping the deceased's possessions and room intact. In more extreme cases, he said, people have slept beside an urn at night.

"It's how they, in their own way, are trying to deal with a situation, and they're acting as if the person's still there, alive and sharing with them," he said. "They're not willing to let go."

For others, Bass said, the problems arise from stress, troublesome memories, or additional issues that become exacerbated during the holidays. He said everybody responds to depression in their own way.

"Some people try to expel their depression by going to church and dealing with what they call sins. Some people walk around with a smile on their face that's plastic to hide what they're feeling," he said.

For others, the feelings are just too much and they choose suicide over emotion.

"More people try to opt out during these times because they don't want to face it anymore," Bass said. "They feel alone and all they can do is think about those old things."

The Nevada Bureau of Health Planning and Statistics recorded 292 total suicides for both residents and visitors in Clark County last year. Of those, 26 suicides were in December and January led all months with 36, meaning more than 20 percent of all suicides last year occurred during the holidays.

Suicide Prevention Center Director Dorothy Bryant added that the suicide rate tends to be higher among people in their 40s and for those older than 60.

She said the center usually does see more calls during and especially right after the holidays and that, "We do a lot of listening. That's step No. 1."

Bryant said counselors try to talk to people about things of meaning and interest to them. They urge them to get help.

She described the center's 24-hour help line as "emotional first aid," though first aid isn't always enough.

Bass and other professionals recommended that people facing depression try to recognize their feelings and not be afraid to seek help, even to go to the emergency room if they are in immediate danger.

Bass advocated what he called "self-talk" in which people take responsibility for their choices, feelings, and talk about them out loud.

For Frank, just sharing his feelings with people was a revelation.

"I found out and got to accept the fact that I'm not alone," he said. "Why did I think for so long that I was the only one with these kinds or problems, these difficulties?"

Frank said people coming to the meetings have the same revelation, that people need people. They ask him why there aren't more people in the small group.

Frank said he can't answer why, only, "We're here. Let's continue."