Columnist Susan Snyder: Country suffering a brownout

Friday, April 23, 2004 | 4:43 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or (702) 259-4082.

WEEKEND EDITION

April 24 - 25, 2004

The United States has been under a new color alert since last week.

At least, we think it went into effect last week. It's kind of hard to tell, because it didn't receive any press coverage or congressional hearings or change airport security measures, or anything.

But judging by television footage of President George W. Bush's Patriot Act press conference in Pennsylvania on Monday, it seems he has indeed embraced the "Grecians" -- the ones who make that formula found in the hair-care aisle of the drug store.

Forget foreign policy. What's with W's hair?

Presidential locks that were fluffy and silvery a few days after Easter had changed to sleek and brown by the time he showed up on TV early last week.

Ken Lisaius, a White House spokesman, said it was merely an illusion. Nary a drop of temporary Fanci-Full Rinse frosts the first follicles.

"Not that I'm aware of," Lisaius said Wednesday.

Why would he be aware? No president likely would make his color job public. And this president doesn't want to make reasons for a war public. But Lisaius did note other possible reasons for seeming changes in Bush's shrub.

"It could be anything from lighting to a haircut," the White House spokesman said.

(What's pathetic is that Lisaius earns more to answer these questions than I am paid to ask them.)

Whatever the reason, the president's youth seems to have returned. And even if it is due to a dab o' dye, that's a whole lot easier on the Secret Service than teaching the president to snowboard.

Sen. John Kerry still has plenty of gray, but he rides a snowboard. Makes him look downright youthful compared to the fence-mending, wood-chopping Bush of Crawford, Texas.

That kind of work will make a guy old. Good thing the president only has to do it when the cameras are rolling.

So just which shade of Fanci-Full does it seem Bush chose for his campaign coiffure? It was hard to tell from television.

"Frivolous" is always a possibility. Perhaps, "Bashful." (No relation to Dopey. At least not for this column.)

If it were the fall of 2001, I'd almost guess "Black Rage."

We can be certain it's not "Hidden Honey," as that was the color more prominent during the Clinton administration.

It probably is some variation of "Honey I Need More Vacation Brown," or "Show Me The Weapons of Mass Destruction Dun."

It's too bad the president can't own up to doing some makeover magic. We all need a little change now and then. I'm looking for one in November.

But there's no harm in adding a little color. In fact, the Bush administration has brought color the White House hasn't seen since Jackie O.

Alerts in yellow, orange and red.

Photos of U.S. military personnel's bodies in basic media blackout.

Presidential Daily Briefs in deep fog.

Newspapers that are black and white and read by Condi.

And the justification for war in Iraq gains new shades of gray every week.

The view from the White House could hardly be more colored.

And just think: Those are only the hues we can see in the dark.

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