Columnist Muriel Stevens: A cynic’s view of TV shopping

Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2003 | 8:20 a.m.

When it comes to shopping the promotional items found on so many of the late-night cable channels, I'm a cynic. As a woman of a certain age, it's been my experience that if something sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

Pitchmen/women are smooth practitioners. They're glib experts of the quick sale and so convincing that they're hard to resist. Just listen to the patter when Joan Rivers is hawking her jewelry. At least she's one of the good guys, giving value for money spent.

Most of the well-known designers offer fair deals. Friends rave about Bob Mackie's line of moderately priced duds. And being able to talk to a bona fide celebrity about the collection of things you've acquired, thanks to Easy Pay, a payment plan that makes all purchases possible, is a bonus for the star-struck.

It's the promises made by those illusionists selling poorly designed knives, cheesy $20 pasta pots and all the small appliances that don't perform as promised that rattles my chain. By now we all know who the good ones are. Ron Popeil has made a fortune selling rotisseries and other small appliances; Wolfgang Puck's pots and pans and high-powered mixers at bargain prices are terrific.

I've learned to be patient on the rare occasions when I do want to succumb to the siren's song, because sooner or later many of those items will be available at local stores and in mall shops devoted entirely to products sold through infomercials. There's no shipping and handling costs, and sometimes these sold-on-TV items are on sale.

A Walgreen's flyer in Sunday's paper included a half-page of "As Seen On TV" specials. The Quick Chop, Gopher picking-up-and-reaching tool, cordless Rotomatic tool set and other gadgets were all $9.99 and all easy to return to any Walgreen's. Just remember to save the sales receipt.

This past Sunday I watched the demonstration of the new Quad Blade food chopper from Euro Pro. I knew nothing about this food chopper or the Euro Pro company, but this wannabe food processor had an intriguing feature -- a four-sided blade that chopped onions, celery and carrots into an even dice without breaking the vegetables into a soggy pulp.

With a little practice and a sharp chef's knife, most cooks can accomplish the same thing, but who bothers to chop veggies these days? After listening to the canned spiel about what this gem should cost and what it actually costs -- $99.95 plus $14.95 handling and shipping -- I called for additional info.

Using the size of the demonstrator's hands as a comparison, I asked about the capacity of the food chopper's bowl.

The phone person only took orders. For such difficult information I had to call the service department, open Monday through Friday. Monday I called. The "service" person had to ask a supervisor.

I waited many minutes to learn that the food chopper's bowl held a total of 6 cups when filled to the brim. That's not much. There is a one-year warranty on parts, but you can't buy an extra bowl or blade. For a look at the the QuadBlade go to www.quadblade.com

As for me, I'll just continue to use my inexpensive, trusty mini-processor. It costs less than the shipping price to return a QuadBlade.