Monday, Sept. 8, 2003 | 8:22 a.m.
The American Society of Civil Engineers says a quarter of Nevada's roads are in "poor to mediocre" condition.
Yet another distinguished achievement for the Silver State. School math scores, teacher pay, political ethics and now, asphalt.
At this rate we're going to have to add "poor to mediocre" to the state seal.
The report released Thursday also gave poor marks to the condition of our school buildings and our drinking water delivery system. But the roads are abysmal, it says. Poorly maintained roads costs each Nevada motorist about $160 in extra repairs annually.
It's hard to pinpoint which Nevada road is the most loathsome, but I'll bet some of you could name a few contenders.
So send me the names, locations and characteristics of your lousiest roads. I'll check the five that sound worst and report back.
And don't forget bridges. The report says 16 percent of ours are "structurally deficient and functionally obsolete."
Too long for the state seal. Might fit on the mission statement, though.
In spite of our poor, mediocre, deficient, functionally obsolete selves, Minnesota's Mall of America wants to be more like Nevada.
Or at least some guys over at Park Place Entertainment hope there are enough lutefisk lovers to support opening a casino in the mall of 10,000 shoe stores, an Associated Press report says.
But Minnesotans shouldn't count on dropping coins in anything but Mall of America soda machines any time soon. The state's governor and Legislature would have to vote in favor of expanding gambling operations.
And even if that happened, it's hard telling how successful the venture would be.
I visited the Mall of America last year and couldn't find my way out, let alone anything I was actually looking for.
Those who are thankful they don't live in Elko have another reason to add to the pile.
A trailside sewage vault on an embattled forest road along the Jarbidge River hasn't been emptied in three years. And it's as full as a politician on Election Day.
(I read the Elko Daily Free Press so you don't have to.)
It seems members of the Jarbidge Shovel Brigade finally have a use for the 10,000 shovels they collected from supporters during a yearslong dispute with the U.S. Forest Service over the river road.
The road washed out in a 1995 flood, rendering the sewage vault in question inaccessible, the Elko paper reported Friday. Shovel brigade supporters manually cleaned it out in 2000 while they were also re-digging the road, against the Forest Service's wishes.
They have offered to again remove the redolent residue, but federal officials have decided to remove it via a $10,000 helicopter operation.
Hope they use good rope. Could be worse than standing bareheaded under a flock of seagulls -- the kind that eat a lot of tourists' French fries.
It it's any consolation, I've heard the meteor may hit in March 2014.
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