Friday, Sept. 5, 2003 | 8:32 a.m.
On its website, Rolling Stone lauds its latest cover story as "The list that launched 1,000 arguments."
It appears generating disagreement was about all the magazine's editors had in mind when they compiled their picks for the "100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time."
They probably figured, why even attempt to present a worthwhile set of rankings when a poorly assembled version will generate a massive heap of reader mail?
There's really no other way to explain what they were thinking when they put this travesty together. It's a lineup no person in his right mind could take seriously, and they call it a "Special Collectors Issue" to boot!
I'm not even going to try picking apart the individual miscues on the list, as that would take longer than space would allow. Instead, here are a just few of the more significant problems with the guitarist rankings:
No criteria: Rolling Stone erred by opting not to lay out any criteria whatsoever for its picks. Instead, the magazine simply introduces the piece with a few throwaway sentences that explain nothing about how the musicians were judged or why they were selected.
So as readers begin perusing the list, they have no clue whether a guitarist's place in history, songwriting contributions or for that matter, singing ability, were taken into account along with his or her chops.
Undefined terms: The magazine's editors also failed to explain which instrumentalists were considered, instead simply calling the group the "100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time."
That implies everyone who has ever played a guitar was eligible, regardless of genre. Yet while the rankings show considerable respect for bluesmen (including B.B. King and Robert Johnson at No. 3 and No. 5, respectively), their slight of the jazz giants is almost complete, with John McLaughlin (No. 49) the lone choice from that field.
Had the magazine bothered to qualify the list as the "100 Greatest Rock Guitarists of All Time," blues players still could have been included for their influence in the rock sphere.
But by including McLaughlin, Rolling Stone makes it seem as though jazz instrumentalists merited consideration. And that amounts to a tremendous slight to Django Reinhardt, Charlie Christian, Wes Montgomery, Al DiMeola, Grant Green and tons of other amazing musicians who deserve far better than being skipped over while Nirvana's Kurt Cobain checks in at No. 12.
Innovators over wizards: Throughout the piece's text, the magazine explains what many of the guitarists did to break new ground in the music world. For example, Johnny Ramone (No. 16) "invented punk-rock guitar," while Keith Richards (No. 10) "created ... rock's greatest single body of riffs."
Far less frequently, however, does Rolling Stone describe the actual guitar style of its chosen 100, making it clear that instrumental skills were fairly low on its scale of considerations. How else to explain the omission of Joe Satriani or Steve Vai, or how Frank Zappa (No. 45), Eddie Van Halen (No. 70) or Phish's Trey Anastasio (No. 73) came in so low?
Yet the magazine contradicts itself at every turn. If innovation, and not technical ability, was the key, where are Buddy Holly, John Lennon and even Bob Dylan? Surely, all contributed more to the rock scene than Joan Jett (No. 87).
Overrating the present: Seeing Cobain ranked one spot ahead of Jerry Garcia (No. 13) and three better than Carlos Santana (No. 15) made my blood boil. Finding the White Stripes' Jack White at No. 17 made me want to throw the entire issue into the trash.
I actually quite like White's band and his guitar work. But the Stripes have been around for only six years, making it inconceivable how their young frontman could be placed so far ahead of legends such as the Who's Pete Townshend (No. 50) and Pink Floyd's David Gilmour (No. 82).
Grab bag: In the miscellaneous category, I ask how Joni Mitchell (No. 72) and Jett were the only two women selected, while Bonnie Raitt was left out.
Or perhaps worst of all, how Muddy Waters, considered by some to be history's greatest blues guitarist, didn't make the cut, while Radiohead placed not one but two players on the list (Ed O'Brien and Johnny Greenwood, Nos. 59 and 60).
But enough about Rolling Stone's list. It's time for mine. My criteria is simple: If I were going to 10 concerts, these are the guys I would want to hear play rock or blues guitar. I guess you could call it, "Ten Dudes Who Shred."
1. Jimi Hendrix; 2. Jerry Garcia (the Grateful Dead); 3. Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin); 4. Duane Allman (the Allman Brothers Band); 5. Neil Young; 6. Frank Zappa; 7. Albert King; 8. Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth); 9. Warren Haynes (the Allman Brothers Band); 10. Stevie Ray Vaughan.
Friday night fun: Tonight's concert calendar is loaded, with options suited to virtually every taste in popular music.
Fans of pop-punk should head over to the Huntridge Theatre for a five-band bill headlined by the Starting Line. The Pennsylvania quartet's hit single "The Best of Me" has been a mainstay on music television stations for months, even though the band's debut album was released in July 2002.
Also on the bill: Home Grown, Allister, The Early November and Senses Fail. Tickets are $15. Doors open at 7.
Whether or not you speak Spanish, if you're open-minded and adventurous, check out Mexican rockers Cafe Tacuba at the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay at 7. Tickets are $15 and $25.
The band has been together for more than a decade, but has recently enjoyed crossover success with English-speaking audiences behind June release "Cuatro Caminos." Several critics at April's Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival in Indio, Calif., rated Cafe Tacuba's set the best among more than 80 acts at the two-day event.
For the '80s enthusiasts out there, the B-52's perform at the Mandalay Bay Beach at 9 tonight. Tickets are $40.
The Athens, Ga., outfit is best known for early radio hits such as "Rock Lobster," "Love Shack" and "Roam." The B-52's released a two-disc anthology, "Nude on the Moon," last year.
Alternative rap devotees will want to make their way to the Palms' Skin Pool Lounge, where Arrested Development holds court at 7 p.m.
The Atlanta group earned popular and critical acclaim in 1992 with debut album, "3 Years, 5 Months & 2 Days in the Life Of ...," which featured MTV hits "Tennessee" and "People Everyday." Tickets are $25.
And if you haven't had your fill of music after all that, roots-rock singer/songwriter Bob Schneider plays at Crossroads at the House of Blues tonight at 10.
The Austin, Texas, scenester has developed a devoted following with solo releases such as 2001's "Lonelyland" and this year's "I Have Seen the End of the World and It Looks Like This."
Kerry Noble opens the show. Tickets are $10.
On sale
The Red Hot Chili Peppers play the Mandalay Bay Events Center on Oct. 9. Tickets are $40 and go on sale at 10 a.m. Saturday at the Mandalay Bay box office, at TicketMaster outlets, by phone at 474-4000 and at www.ticketmaster.com.
Tickets for Luis Miguel's Oct. 10 concert at the Mandalay Bay Events Center are $50, $65, $85, $125 and $150 and were to go on sale at 1 p.m. today through the Mandalay Bay box office and TicketMaster.
The Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel hosts Simply Red on Oct. 10. Tickets are $40.50 and $55.50 and go on sale Saturday at noon at the Hard Rock box office and through TicketMaster.
The "Playstation2 Dual Play Tour," featuring Timo Maas and Loco Dice, stops at the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay for a late show Oct. 5. Tickets are $20 and are on sale at the House of Blues box office, by phone at 632-7600, at www.hob.com and through TicketMaster.
Tickets are on sale now for Rooney's Sept. 29 show at the Huntridge Theatre. Also on the bill: the Sounds and Palo Alto. Tickets are $10 and are on sale now at the Huntridge box office, through Ticketmaster and at Balcony Lights records, 4800 S. Maryland Pkwy.
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