Friday, Oct. 31, 2003 | 8:34 a.m.
Pam Matteson works regularly with some of the greatest female entertainers of all time -- Meryl Streep, Stevie Nicks, Dolly Parton and Liza Minnelli among them.
OK, so if you want to get technical about it, none of these legendary ladies has actually ever appeared alongside Matteson. Rather, the longtime stand-up comic performs her versions of their voices via the original song parodies that comprise her act.
Just don't call Matteson -- who tonight and Saturday headlines Golden Nugget's "Funnybone Comedy Showcase" -- an impressionist. "I'm a comic-parody person," she explained recently from her Henderson home, where she and her husband relocated this summer from Los Angeles.
While she works to perfect the songs and jokes in her act, when it comes to the voices, "I just fake it," she insists. Successfully, it seems, seeing as how she pulled the wool over the eyes of master impressionist Rich Little and landed a co-starring spot in his 1992 production show, "Copycats," at Sahara.
Brooklyn born-and bred Matteson's acting background must help her pull off the ruse: A former theater actress, she hit the road in the early '80s with the first national touring company to perform the musical "Annie."
Bored with being a thespian, she began visiting comedy clubs in the cities where the "Annie" tour stopped, and first grabbed the mike in Philadelphia. "I was so happy doing my material, stuff that I wrote ... that was such a high for me," she recalls.
When the tour pulled into Los Angeles, Matteson disembarked to devote herself full time to stand-up comedy. During this time, she claims to have dated a then-struggling comic named Jim Carrey.
"He was doing an act like mine -- all singing impressions -- and it was so adorable. He was really young," she recalls. "We went to Disneyland and we goofed around. We had fun."
Matteson's comedy career grew legs when she appeared twice on "The Tonight Show"; landed on a short-lived, music-video-spoof series called "FTV"; and took to the road once again, this time to play clubs and open for other entertainers. She also appeared in the 1988 flick "Punchline."
One of Matteson's first song spoofs mocked screen legend Bette Davis. "It was really dirty," she says of the tune. Since then she's penned a plethora of parodies including a ditty called "Old Broads Just Wanna Whine," a take on Cyndi Lauper's mega-hit "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun":
"I've got cramps, my back's so stiff, I look in the mirror, I need a facelift."
Las Vegas' new leading lady, songstress Celine Dion, also gets the Matteson once-over. In the act, "I talk about how skinny she is," and to the tune of "My Heart Will Go On" sings, "Throw me a meal, I look like Ally McBeal ..."
Others goofed on include Judy Garland and Goldie Hawn (who are paired in an unlikely duet), Whitney Houston, Billie Holiday and Britney Spears. In her signature bit, Matteson has queen diva Cher pump iron with -- of all things -- her tongue.
It's probably just as well that Matteson -- who states her age as "between 45 and 50" -- has never come face-to-face with any of the women she's parodied. "A lot of people say to me, 'You're funny, but sometimes your riffs get a bit mean.' I thought, 'You know, you can't do a parody and not be edgy, because then it wouldn't be funny.' "
Nevertheless Matteson remains cautious about crossing the line with certain characters. She recently dropped from her act a bit that poked fun at Jennifer Lopez's ample derriere, fearing similarly endowed women might take offense.
"People get so sensitive with comedy," she says, differentiating her act from that of another singing-impressionist, Danny Gans. "He's so clean ... I don't have that chromosome; I'm a little bit darker."
Case in point: her bit about a female Afghani comedian, which Matteson performs wearing a traditional burka veil. "I thought, 'That's gonna be iffy,' but it killed," she says. "I just say ... 'Could you imagine living in Afghanistan and trying to do comedy?' ... When I put the burka on and I start doing it, (audiences) start laughing because it's really funny."
There's nothing funny to Matteson when it comes to discussing her "spiritual side," which she discovered following her sister's 1992 death from a rare lung disease called lymphangioleimyomatosis. "We were so close," she says, "I almost couldn't go on."
She temporarily abandoned stand-up comedy to study writing and pen the one-woman show "In Search of Dawn," which she performed in Los Angeles. It is based on Matteson's attempts to reconnect with her sister in the afterlife, which she claims actually happened. "I had a full-blown visit," Matteson insists. "I even have proof -- I brought it onstage, the sign she gave me."
"I didn't even believe in that stuff" before experiencing it, she says. "I was having these unbelievable out-of-body experiences -- I thought I had a brain tumor." Turns out she was merely "astro-traveling," and has decided to write a novel detailing her, um, journeys. "It's just another side of my life."
Out for laughs
The late, great Ernie Kovacs will be inducted into the National Comedy Hall of Fame on Saturday night at Stardust, capping off the Las Vegas Comedy Festival. Kovacs' widow, actress Edie Adams, will accept the award.
Former "Saturday Night Live!" scribe Kevin Brennan headlines The Comedy Stop at the Trop Nov. 10 through Nov. 16. Also on the bill: local comic Kathleen Dunbar, who formerly headlined "Divas of Comedy" at Greek Isles hotel-casino.
Can't get enough of Jimmie Walker? Good thing the "Good Times" star has a pair of local stand-up performances planned: Nov. 24 through Nov. 30 at Riviera Comedy Club, and Dec. 19 and Dec. 20 in the Nugget's "Funnybone Comedy Showcase."
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