Friday, Nov. 21, 2003 | 4:27 a.m.
WEEKEND EDITION Nov. 22 - 23, 2003
Susan Snyder's column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at [email protected] or (702) 259-4082.
Dear Condoleezza,
As you know, President George W. Bush is scheduled to make his first official visit to Las Vegas on Tuesday, and we'd like to welcome him.
However, it's pretty widely known President Bush doesn't read newspapers (at least, it's widely known among those of us who do read them). So we're hoping maybe you, as national security advisor and one of those charged with discerning all the news that's fit for Bush, could read this to him.
First, we'd like to thank you, Mr. President, for showing up. That seemed a struggle during your first year in office. You took more vacation time than the average European factory worker (who gets something like six weeks of vacation to the average American's eight to 10 days).
They say 80 percent of life is showing up, and you seem to have acquired the hang of it. Well done. Now, about that other 20 percent.
We'd like to thank you and your administration for lifting our burden of protecting our national forests. When federal judges overturned the U.S. Forest Service ban on building roads in national forests, your folks decided not to defend the ban. They also decided that we members of the general public have no right to file appeals in hopes of reinstating the ban. This opens up 58.5 million acres -- about a third of our national forest acreage -- to construction of roads for logging and other commercial interests.
But we can't fight it, so why worry? Shoot, we don't even have to bother protesting while you're here because the government-approved protest zones probably will be in downtown Boulder City. We'll save trees by not making picket signs. Pretty slick plan to save forests, on your part.
As for your other environmental policies, it's swell that your administration has allowed snowmobiles back into Yellowstone National Park. Yeah, the polluting machines scare the bejabbers out of wildlife already stressed by winter forage conditions. But those pesky wolves and bison don't respect park boundaries.
If they don't appreciate their habitat enough to stay in it, why should we give up our privilege to tear around it at 70 mph? Bully for you.
What about the energy bill? To many of us it seems to increase dependence and use of fuels such as oil and coal, increase environmental degradation and offer little incentive to conserve energy or seek alternative sources.
But again, we lack your perspective. We read news that isn't filtered by a huddle of objective subordinates.
And your administration's logic regarding Iraq continues to amaze. Your stubborn spirit has prevailed despite the absence of weapons of mass destruction, the absence of Saddam Hussein and his actual connection to the Sept. 11 attacks, and the absence of Osama bin Laden's name from anything recent.
But it is just as well you don't read news from Iraq. You might have seen a recent Associated Press report that 17 American soldiers have committed suicide there. Honestly, leave it to the press to make it sound so negative.
Last, we're heartened that you are following tradition and pardoning a turkey at the White House, but we have a question.
Which one?
Please make sure the president thanks you for reading to the bottom.
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