Columnist Lisa Ferguson — Sun Lite for Nov. 10, 2003

Monday, Nov. 10, 2003 | 8:23 a.m.

Baby, I'm yours

If you're one of those people who complains about long lines at the supermarket and constantly being stuck in traffic jams, imagine how long you'd have to wait for stuff with a few million extra people sucking up space around the country.

Good news is, it won't be long until you find out: According to a recent survey sponsored by Silver Stork Research a "mom-focused research company" that assists businesses in understanding the needs of current and future mothers female members of the so-called "Generation Y" are all revved up about their impending entry into motherhood.

Sure, they may dress like Britney Spears now, but within a few years 92 percent of young women age 18 to 24 say they have every intention of ditching their low-rise jeans and donning super-size maternity pants and welcoming a little one (or two?) into the world; one in three of those women have already taken the life-altering fashion plunge. Meanwhile half of Gen-Yers who are already moms or intend to become one plan on giving birth by 2008.

What do all these numbers mean? Besides a lot more sleepless nights and a growing pile of stinky diapers plugging up landfills, the Silver Stork folks are predicting a 17-percent jump in the country's birth rate within the next decade.

Spending a Fortune

Of course, the news isn't all goo-goo gloom and drooly doom. In fact, we're guessing baby-supply makers couldn't be more thrilled about news of the forthcoming blessed events.

Forget frilly booties and fuzzy, pastel blankies: Ultra-hip Gen-Yers will likely want to suit up their spawns in the same sort of cutting-edge couture they favor. Enter Fortune Tee, pint-sized cotton shirts and body suits emblazoned with tongue-in-cheek sayings that play on the proverbs found inside Chinese fortune cookies lucky numbers and all.

Already a hot item for the bambinos of Hollywood's elite, the clothing features such slogans as "A nap is in my near future"; "Treats will come to those who behave"; and "A surprise will appear in my pants."

Packaged in what else? Chinese restaurant-style takeout boxes, the items cost between $22 and $26 and can be purchased at www.fortuneteeshirt.com, where styles for older kids and grownups are also available.

Got 'tude?

Along the same line, but edgier (and, depending on your sense of humor, funnier) are the teeny, tiny duds featured on www.InfantAttitude.com and its slightly twisted-sister website www.DiaperDevil.com.

The former's babywear white-cotton shirts, body suits and bibs that range in price from $7.99 to $10.99 is printed with slogans that its makers describe as "family friendly": "My other stroller is a BMW"; "As seen on Ultrasound"; "I'm crying because you're ugly"; "I'm a little tax shelter."

The latter's gear much like a loaded diaper is not for the faint of heart: "I shoot craps"; "I'm proof condoms DO break"; and "I'm very special because birth control is 99.5% effective," among them. (The words of, um, wisdom, are also featured on a line of clothing and novelties for adults.) Offensive? It's up to moms and dads to make the final call while dressing their bundles of joy. We just wonder what all of those former-wild-child, Baby-Boomer grandparents will have to say about the fashions.